Chester Jefferson is Dead

Playoff Breakdown

2011-11-30T20:34:00.002-05:00

PLAYOFF SEEDS

As always here are the procedures to break ties

Remember we do not reseed after each round

if the teams are in the same division

1.head to head record

2.divisional record

3. Power Ranking

4.total points scored

5. Breakdown record

6.least amount of points given up

If different divisions

1.head to head

2. Power Ranking

2.total points

3.divisional record

4.Breakdown record

5.least points given up

Playoff Breakdown - Please note I'm doing this by hand and don't have fancy smancy computers like the NFL or ESPN

1.) Fighting Amish – 9-3 – Clinched Division - clinches #1 seed with a win or a loss and a loss by the Stultz. Clinches bye with a loss and a loss by The Stultz. If finishes with a three way tie with T Sizzle and the Stulz falls to 3 seed.

2.) T Sizzle – 8-4 – Clinched division. Clinches #2 seed with a win and a loss by the Sea Auchs (currently number 2 seed from head to head win over the Stultz and Stultz has a better division record than the Sea Auchs). Clinches #1 seed if finishes in 3 way tie with Fighting Amish and the Stultz

3.) The Stultz – 8-4 – Clinched playoff spot. Can clinch #2 seed and a bye if finishes with a 3 way tie with T Sizzle and Fighting Amish. Clinches division with win.

4.) The Sea Auchs – 8-4 – Clinched playoff spot. Clinches 2 seed with a win and a loss by the Stultz. Otherwise locked into #4 seed.

There are many possibilities with 5 teams at 6-6. Too many to go into – especially since none of the 6-6 teams play each other. Theoretically we could have two 6-7 teams make the playoffs.

Here are current standings:

5.) Dirty Daves – 6-6 – finished 1-1 with other 6-6 teams (Sunsets with my Fiance and I Kissed My Sweetheart with My Fist but has higher power ranking).

6.) I Kissed My Sweetheart with My Fist – 6-6 – won head to head over Sunsets with my Fiance

7.) Sunsets with My Fiance – 6-6 – won head to head over Lord Lansdowne

8.) Lord Lansdowne – 6-6 – won head to head over Hartman

9.) Hartman – 6-6 – needs a lot of help to make the playoffs

Week 7

2011-10-28T00:02:00.008-04:00

The Oregon Duck knows his hoes

Good Guys

QB Drew Brees 46 KSF

RB Arian Foster 40 STZ

RB DeMarco Murray 31 TSA

RB Adrian Peterson 23 Hart

WR Marques Colston 21 BTK

WR Greg Jennings 20 Hart

TE Jimmy Graham 17 TSA

K Mason Crosby 17 FAM

Def Seahawks 22 DD

Bad Guys

QB Matt Hasselbeck 6 FAM

RB Tashard Choice -1 TSZ

RB Darren McFadden 0 TSZ

RB Marshawn Lynch 0 SMJ

WR Devery Henderson 0 AWM

WR Doug Baldwin 0 SWF

TE Dallas Clark 0 KSF

K Adam Vinatieri 1 TSZ

Def Raiders 6 LL

Spinal Tap kicking Muammar Gaddafi in the butt, the timeless classic, now two for a dollar.

-Before week 1 I told Frat that Josh McDaniels was going to be the death of Sam Bradford. 7 weeks later and the Rams are 0-6 with the worst Offense in all of football and a sweet -115 in point differential. If it wasn’t the Colts being -114 the Rams would be running away with the worst team in football status. McDaniels fell into a favored position at Michigan St under Nick Saban because his dad was a friend and used Saban’s friendship with Bill Belichick to get with the Patriots, where he ran Charlie Weis’ offense with the greatest quarterback in football history. After the debacle in Denver and him outright destroying that team with trades how would a head coach feel confident putting him on his staff? The only coach who has earned his position less is Kyle Shanahan. If I were the Rams and finish 0-16, I fire Spags and clean house and since Bradford is way less valuable because of his contract I make a deal to send Luck to the Dolphins or Colts that blows away the Julio Jones trade. Because it is all Spags fault .

Possibly the sweetest helmets ever

-Im pretty sure there is a conspiracy now by the NFL through the refs against the Detroit Lions

-The NFL needs to return to the old offside penalty. Before the ball had to be snapped whilst a defender had broken the plane of the ball or to make contact with an offensive player to get the now, though, Offensive lineman can blatantly move as soon as a defender comes across and get the penalty on the defense. The rule uses the phrase “drawn off sides” which I kind of get if there is a defender running right into you but now lineman jump out of their stance and point at the defender as soon as the guy flinches across.

-I know every single person on the internet already commented on Tebow but watching him run around and throw the spin move while still in the pocket is pretty funny. I like him I just don’t think he will be a good NFL quarterback. One comeback against a terrible Dolphins team does not make up for 55 minutes of passes hilariously sailing deep into the sidelines like every other throw. I will saw this, if someone watched Cam Newton play and then Tebow no one would believe that Tebow is the “veteran” and Cam is still a rookie. Cam doesn’t look like a chicken with his head cut off in the pocket like Tebow.

so fucking angry

- I think Peyton will buck the trend and be one of the few great players that become a good coach. He seems to care way more than Jim Caldwell and the Colts defense about that laugher on Sunday night. He may not even want to go in but if he did he would be able to do it right and teach players that aren’t as talented as him unlike most stars.

-Never realized that Tony Gonzalez had that many receptions, now #2 in NFL history. I knew he was pretty high up there but not that high. Looking at the list of the reception leaders we see how offensive oriented the NFL has become and how that has devalued many statistics.

Here is 10-20 all time reception leaders.

10. Andre Reed 951 1985-2000 2TM

11. Derrick Mason (36) 941 1997-2011 4TM

12. Art Monk+ 940 1980-1995 3TM

13. Torry Holt 920 1999-2009 2TM

14. Keenan McCardell 883 1992-2007 5TM

15. Jimmy Smith 862 1992-2005 2TM

16. Muhsin Muhammad 860 1996-2009 2TM

17. Irving Fryar 851 1984-2000 4TM

18. Rod Smith 849 1995-2006 den

19. Larry Centers 827 1990-2003 4TM

20. Steve Largent+ 819 1976-1989 sea

Look at that. 6 or 7 of those names will never sniff the hall of fame and Art Monk doesn’t deserve to be in. Torry Holt has a realistic shot I guess since he seemed to be the most explosive of the bunch. Add those guys in with the 10th all time leading Passer, Kerry Collins, and they can make their own Hall of Above Average.

-It was good to see Arian Foster look like Arian Foster again since I feared he was a 1 year wonder but the poster child for the reason not to give running backs long term deals, Chris Johnson, is currently 32nd in the NFL in rushing. Maybe waiting till 2 days before the season started to sign that contract wasn’t such a good idea. Hopefully he bounces back in the second half of the season because he is such an explosive player.

that is one thick man

-How fucking big is Mike Tolbert? On wiki he’s listed as 5”9’ 247. That’s fucking huge for a running back. It looks like he ate Natrone Means and Marion Butts. Huh huh huh, Butts.

-Honoring the 2008 Florida Gators national championship team at the Dolphins/ Denver game was a complete jv move and shows what a bad sports town Miami really is. It’s easy to forget how long Florida is. It would be a 5 hour and 30 minute drive from Gainesville to Miami and the obviously scheduled it way before they knew Tebow would be starting. Would the Eagles ever Honor a Penn State team? Of course not.

-I can’t believe I’m fucking watching Nick Punto play in a fucking world series.

Seriously, this is disgusting.

-How excited was I when I saw Matt Ryan rolling on the Ford Field Turf in pain? Very. Too bad it wasn’t serious. Why couldn’t Suh have murdered him?

-Watching the Carolina Panthers run Auburn’s offense is pretty awesome and if I am them I go with Jonathan Stewart as my main back rather than DeAngelo Williams. Stewart ran it in college at Oregon.

This is a good Halloween costume

-Will there ever be an actual good game in London? Tampa made it kind of interesting in the 4th quarter but for the most part it was a terrible for the first 3 quarters. I don’t get why you would play a regular season game not on the home teams field.Yeah European soccer teams tour America and play other Euro teams or MLS teams but those games don’t count toward their record in the Barclays Cup. Soccer can be played whenever, wherever and anytime of year and can have multiple games a week. NFL can’t don’t waste an NFL game in Europe.

--Who the fuck is Red Bryant and how do the Browns let a 6”5” 330lb man block to field goals in 1 game? Oh yeah, Eternal Hell would be having the NFL Ticket but the only game that’s on is the 6-3 Seattle/Cleveland game. You couldn’t have paid me to watch that game.

-Going back to Tebow, why wasn’t Vern Lundquist brought in specially for CBS to announce? If the Dolphins were honoring the 2008 Gators they should have just gone all the way and have the booth of Vern and Gary Danielson call the game.

-Why did everyone love the Chargers this past weekend? While running at the gym prior to kickoff I watched all 15 or however many there are on ESPN’s Gameday pick the Chargers outright over the Jets. I couldn’t hear their explanations but I’m sure they were air tight. I knew something was up when I texted Frat what happened and he responded that he liked the Chargers as well. Well, WHY? Their defense isn’t very good, they may not give up a bunch of yards but they are in the bottom of the pack in points given up. They have 1 wide out who is kind of banged up an Antonio Gates who just returned from injury and not much else on offense. Yes, they will probably win the division since the other teams suck but why would people pick them going cross country and playing a 1pm game against the Jets?

-What the fuck were Metallica and Lou Reed thinking with the release of Lulu? Of course, everyone involved is using the defense tactic of, “If you don’t like it you just don’t get it.” This sounds par for the Metallica course at this point. It sounds like a Lou Reed spoken word album performed over B sides from Death Metallica. The clincher probably is “Cheat on Me” an 11 minute 28 second opus in which Reed and Hetfield repeat the phrase “Why do I cheat on me” at least 200 times and then Reed garbles a couple other lines over a super boring guitar riff. I am not the biggest Metallica fan but I thought Death Magnetic was decent and I get wanting to work with an icon like Lou Reed but come on, this should never been released. If you want to listen to this craptactular album you can stream it here. http://www.loureedmetallica.com/listen-to-lulu.php

this is just as good

WEEK 5 AL DAVIS

2011-10-13T12:16:00.012-04:00

D'oh!

Good Guys

QB Ben Roethlisberger DD 40

RB Adrian Peterson Hart 30

RB Ben Jarvis Green Ellis FAM 26

RB Fred Jackson LL 25

WR Dwayne Bowe FAM 24

WR Pierre Garcon BTK 24

TE Jimmy Graham TSA 12

K Sebastian Janikowski STZ 16

Def 48ers AWM 27

Bad Guys

QB Josh Freeman TSZ 4

RB Joseph Addai BTK 1

RB CJ Spiller LL 1

RB Marion Barber AWM 0

WR Jordy Nelson SWF 1

WR Denarious Moore AWM 0

TE James Casey BTK 0

K Matt Bryant BTK 2

Def Buccaneers LL -3

There was a Tie this week The Stultz vs Summers Ties are broken this way:

1. Total Offensive Touchdowns (Summers won here)

2. Total Offensive Yards(Passing+Rushing+Receiving)

3. Defensive Points against(how many points your D gave up that week, lowest wins unless inactive def)

4. Defensive Yards Against(lowest wins)

5. At this point if its still a tie i pick the winner based on who i like the most.

But this made me think, Why do we break ties in the regular season? We have just always done it but if anything it makes Playoff positioning way easier to figure out if ties are left in there. Obviously this is a decision that has to be tabled to the off season but it made me think about it.

-Another rule change that i want to implement. Released players should just become Free Agents, they do not have to sit on waivers for a week. I like the Waivers running Tuesday night and it awards shrewd owners if they wait for a breakout player but there is really no reason for the cut players to be unavailable in the upcoming week. Remind me to change that rule next year.

-I was wrong last week, Aaron Rodgers 58 was not the highest point total ever in the league. Mike Vick scored 60 last year in week 9 against the Redskins. 333yards 4 TDs, 80 yards rushing and 2 rush touchdowns. The Eagles won 59-28. For some reason I dont think that will be the score this weekend.

-I did not watch a minute of pro football this weekend, I went to New York to see my new nephew. My brother names his first son, Vigo. Now as soon as i heard the name I wondered why my brother named him after the bad guy in Ghostbusters 2 but my brother did not know the movie. Anyway this is why i know Vigo the Carpathian

Vigo was born in 1505 in the small Balkan kingdom of Carpathia in Hungary, near Italy. He soon rose to power and ruled his home country with an iron fist, and the land itself was in a constant state of spiritual turmoil thanks to his despotic rule, which earned him an infamous name, the "Scourge of Carpathia". Vigo later conquer another land, the country of Moldovia in Romania which its people while still resenting the psychotic autocrat, gave him another notorious alias, the "Sorrow of Moldovia". It was said he was a powerful magician and a genius in many ways, as well as a tyrant, an autocrat, a lunatic and a genocidal madman. Because of his evil ways he wasn't well liked by his subjects and he killed hundreds of them. He was also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy.

He eventually died at the age of 105 in 1610, but not because of his old age. His people had led a rebellion and they tried and executed him in a manner that they saw fit for his rule. He was poisoned, shot, stabbed, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered . Just after they removed his head, he uttered this prophetic warning: "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back".

So i really enjoy the name.

-As i didn't watch any football i have nothing i can comment on. The only play I saw was the offsides by Parker because it was replayed a ton during PTI or around the horn or whatever while i was at the gym on Monday. Whatever, they suck the Phillies suck, Sixers suck. fuck everything.

But i was saddened by the passing of Al Davis. I loved Al and think it's a shame that he became such a joke to everyone when for the first 70 years of his life he was a bona fide football genius.

i was going to write something but then I came across this blog post about Al. I have to hand it to this writer(writing as Mobuto Sese Seko an African Dicator) giving a good overview of the things Al did right in his life time for the NFL. It's a really long post but if you have time you should read it. What is crazy is that he died at 82 and the 3 year older Joe Paterno is still coaching Penn State

But a post about Al Davis wouldn't be complete without a collection of pictures.

Week 4

2011-10-06T23:12:00.005-04:00

Hey, I scored Again

AARON RODGERS' ALL STARS

QB Aaron Rodgers TSA 58

RB Beanie Wells DD 31

RB Matt Forte SWF 28

RB Michael Turner AWM 20

WR Calvin Johnson LL 21

WR Wes Welker FAM 21

TE Jimmy Graham TSA 19

K Matt Bryant BTK 14

Def Ravens TSZ 31

JOE FLACCO'S FAILURES

QB Joe Flacco TSZ 3

RB Shonn Greene BTK 2

RB Tim Hightower LL 2

WR Devery Henderson BTK 0

WR Anquan Boldin TSZ 2

WR Andre Johnson BTK 3

TE Dustin Keller DD 2

K Josh Brown DD 2

Def Steelers AWM 0

58 For Aaron Rodgers, the greatest single fantasy display in the history of football. Shaun Alexander had 52 in 2002 with 5 touchdowns , 139 yard rushes, and 92 receiving. That's just an unfair week. Aaron Rodgers almost outscored Stakman Jones by himself. There may be a Brady week in 2007 like this but i don't think so.

Ronnie Brown saw an open Clay Harbor out of the corner of his eye.

EAGLES

That was one of the worst performances by an Eagles team during Andy Reid’s tenure. I switched over to Red Zone full time after the Birds went up 23-3 only to be treated to a tremendous comeback by just a terrible team. When you let Alex Smith and a 1 legged Frank Gore score 21 unanswered points in the 3rd and 4th quarter it’s time to reevaluate everything. The numbers have been talked about all week, Outscored 36-0 in the 4th quarter of the first 4 games, 10 passing touchdowns against which ties them with the Chiefs for worst in the league, 3rd worst rushing defense with only Carolina and St. Louis behind them. It truly was one of the most putrid displays of football in a long time. I feel sorry for anyone that sat in the chilly weather to watch that miserable excuse for football.

-What the Fuck is their offense? It hasn’t been anything resembling West Coast since the TO/McNabb season but this looks like my NCAA offense, throw the ball as far down field as possible and hope either DJack runs under it or there is a pass interference. McCoy gets 9 carries? He had only gone 95 or more yards in the first 3 games. It was like watching The Vick led Falcon teams but without the running game, meaning it was horrendous. What were there 6 deep shots to Jackson?

-For thirteen seasons the fans yelled and screamed for Andy Reid to run the ball in the red zone and goal line and now we know why Reid never did. The Ronnie Brown run/pass option had all the grace of Garo Yepremian’s Super Bowl pass. Did Ronnie Brown think he was playing NCAA 12 and hit the L2 button by mistake to option the ball to Clay Harbor? The worst part is that play was the closest to a straight dive they have tried; everything else has been more gimmicky shit. Where has the bootleg been? There is about a 60% that Vick can beat the last man on the line to the corner on a goal line play yet they haven’t tried it once, it doesn’t even need the run pass option. Speaking of passing, every other team just spreads the field with 4 wide and runs a bunch of crossing patterns near the goal line like the bills, packers, and patriots. Do they not trust Vick to fit it into a tight area like that? At least it would give him the option to run it in like Rodgers can.

-The eagles have supposedly the most talented group of corners in football and what do they do? Sit on cover 2 but even more egregious is the stat I heard that the Eagles have been lining up in their 4-3 base defense more than any other team in the league and blitzing the least. What good are 3 corners if 1 of them is on the bench every play? I can’t figure out how the braintrust put this defensive scheme together and/or why Juan Castillo would beg and plead to be given a chance to run a defense after 13 seasons and the best thing he can come up with is sitting in vanilla 4-3 cover 2 and not blitzing? I got to think that’s what he was told to run but that doesn’t make much sense either. Sal Pal reiterated that most base defense stat on his radio show so Im going to believe him that it's true.

-For all the thing he’s done well this season, Maclin, can be directly blamed for 2 huge mistakes in 4th quarters that cost the Eagles the shot at victory. 2 weeks ago it was dropping the 4th down play against Atlanta and this week it was the fumble in the 4th.

-Im glad Steve Jobs died. I fucking hate Apple and their shitty proprietary gadgets.

-The only transactions in the off season that have paid off have been Jason Babin and Cullen Jenkins but will it matter if Jason Babin gets 26 sacks and the Eagles don’t make the playoffs?

- They give Vince Young a 3.5 million dollar contract to back up and be a reclamation project, Barrett Ruud signed a 1 year 4 million deal with the titans, he averaged 100+ tackles the last 4 season at MLB and if they couldn’t get him, Stephen Tulloch also signed a 1 year deal with the Lions for 3.25.

-I wasn’t on the 13-3 bandwagon at the beginning of the season but neither was I my regular 8-8 doomsayer self. I thought they would win the division at 11-5/10-6 but it’s at that point every game is very important. They have to win the next 2 weeks against the Bills and Redskins. Another loss and 2-4 at the bye week would almost make it impossible to get to 10-6.

The Brauny Bike

NOTES

-NC State coach Tom O’brien has to be fired. Losing by 40 on national tv biggest but the sin of letting Russell Wilson walk to Wisconsin and he goes out and murders Nebraska. So what if he wanted to play baseball in the offseason? He is one of the top quarterbacks in the country and you just dont let go of a kid that good to prove a point.

-Indianapolis Colts are on the San Antonio Spurs rebuilding plan. Lose a top guy for a year and get his replacement the next. Its probably the best course of action too. Andrew Luck would get 1 full season behind Peyton and then Peyton graciously passes the position on. It worked with Duncan and David Robinson it will work for the Colts. Though the Colts do need a lot of help at other positions in the long haul.

-Carolina runs about 50% college plays straight out of Urban Myers spread offense playbook. It’s fascinating to watch. They run a bunch of read options and hell they even ran a true down-the-line speed option (it didn’t work). I don’t know what the long term effects of this offense will be in the pros but I will enjoy seeing it on Red Zone.

-How is the broadcast of Red Zone in front the regular fox broadcast? And its by a couple seconds as well.

A very nerdy yet interesting (to me) study would be a pie chart about how much time Red Zone spends on each game and who gets the most views. I dont know how i would break it down when they do double or quad boxes but someone should do the math.

-Darren Sproles is so much better than Reggie Bush that it’s not funny. That may prove to be one of the biggest upgrades in football this season.

Did Charlie Weis really make that much of a difference in KC? I know they won and Cassel finally threw a td but he looked pretty horrible again against a pretty bad Vikings team. The offense just can't get going .

Im pretty sure Calvin Johnson wears these pants.

-The Matt Stafford to Calvin Johnson jump ball in triple coverage in the end zone was just unfair. None of those Cowboys had a shot at it with Johnson there. He really is dominating the game this year

Week 2 in Review

2011-09-21T23:53:00.013-04:00

Just more white guys scoring touchdowns.

Good Guys

QB Tom Brady FAM – 39

RB Adrian Peterson Hart – 26

RB Darren McFadden TSZ – 25

RB Jahvid Best TSA – 23

WR Vincent Jackson STZ – 29

WR Jeremy Maclin TSA – 29

TE Rob Gronkowski FAM – 20

K Adam Vinatieri TSZ – 14

DEF Jets Hart – 25

Bad Guys

QB Joe Flacco TSZ – 13

RB Reggie Bush LL – 1

RB Jamaal Charles SMJ – 2

RB Felix Jones TSZ – 2

WR Plaxico Burress SMJ – 0

WR Brandon Lloyd TSZ – 0

TE Antonio Gates TSZ – 0

K Matt Bryant BTK – 5

DEF Ravens TSZ – 3

IMPORTANT SCORING UPDATE

You may have noticed that scores changed on Monday night for the first 2 weeks of the season and it’s because I screwed up the numbers. First, I accidently change safeties from 2 to 3 points instead of Interceptions 2nd, But more egregious I removed Defensive touchdowns while trying to fix Special teams TDs. Luckily this did not affect a single outcome in the first 2 weeks as there have only been 2 games that were decided by less than 10 points. So there is a reason I ask people to check the scoring early on and so please look over the first 2 weeks and make sure everything is right. Everything should be correct now.

Picture of Frat at a Phillies game, at least he got the shirt color almost right.

BREAKING NEWS

Guess who sent this email to Gigger and I Monday morning.

I think I mite become a bigger phillies fan then eagles fan. Im looking to Phillies playoffs

That’s right people; You can probably tell from the spelling mistakes and general grammatical errors but all it took was one loss to a pretty good Falcons team to have Frat jumping off the Eagles bandwagon. Now, some may know Frat’s opinion of the Phillies prior to this email but for those that don’t lets recount:

Did not go out for a single game during the 2008 World Series, in fact he actively rooted for the Rays. He still held to the notion that the Eagles were the top dog in the city and would remind us of that anytime possible Any picture of him at a Phillies game you could see the disgust on his face in being there.

So what prompted this change, Frat? I really want to know.

Speaking of the Phillies

Hurry up and end this season. I want baseball to implement a new rule, as soon as 1 team clinches home field advantage throughout the playoffs the season ends and if teams are still tied they play 1 game playoffs. Because these past couple days and the coming week of meaningless baseball is really hard to watch and it’s not good to see the Phillies in sleep mode going into the playoffs.

SCOREBOARD! SCOREBOARD! OOPS

EAGLES

This is always an odd situation, going into the game I thought there was almost no chance the Eagles would win; the home opener for the team that had the best record in the NFC coming off a bad showing in week 1 and couldn’t really afford to start 0-2. This isn’t my regular hating on the Eagles since my hatred of the Falcons is 3rd to only the Giants and Bears and I would rather have them lose every game and Matty Ice get injured but I give them enough respect to know they are a pretty good team that probably wouldn’t start 0-2. Given the circumstances of the game as well, if there was a game that it was owed by the team to win the game for the fans it was this one with Vick returning and all. Trust me I realize Atlanta, as a whole, has the worst Pro sports fans of any major city, I mean, they just lost a hockey team to a remote Canadian city for the 2nd time but Vick did a lot to ruin the team for a couple years and nothing would be worse than him showing up back in the Georgia Dome and running all over the Falcons.

But then the game began and the Eagles dominated them for 3 quarters and were easily the better team on the field and had a 10 point lead going into the 4th quarter but lost the game anyway so that counts as a bad loss. Reid said he regretted being too conservative with Kafka in but the only play that really falls into the category of “too conservative” was the 3rd and 3 Bubble Screen to Maclin that Atlanta knew was coming and stopped him for a loss. Of course, the next play Maclin drops the 4th down pass so I can’t really blame conservative play calling. Defensively the game was what you would expect from the Eagles; a lot of pressure without blitzing but major gaps against the run, teams can’t throw the ball downfield outside of the numbers but the middle is wide open and tight ends kill them.

I’ll give it to matty ice, it looked like he was going to quit after 3 quarters and was getting pounded and maybe it was Vick getting injured the series before but the Falcons Offense turned it on. Looking at the last 2 Falcons possessions every completion they had has the adjective short prior to the position on the field, why throw downfield against the Eagles unless you have to? The Eagles don’t have the linebackers to covers the short field and that will kill them against any team with a good tight end and slot receivers.

My main problem with the linebackers is the handing of the job to Matthews the first day of camp. I loved him in college and I really liked it when the Eagles picked him in the 4th round even though I didn’t think he fit the defense but why was he in the starting rotation right away? What did he prove on tape that he was ready to step in since there were no mini camps or OTAs? Hell, even Carolina made Cam Newton “compete” for the starting job and he did kinda earn it in pre season why would they hand a starting job to an untested rookie. Could they not have brought in any other middle linebacker to make some sort of competition? I think he could be a player one day and the Birds have already admitted a mistake by moving him outside and Chaney inside.

I think Trotter would be the perfect linebacker for this defense. They don’t blitz much so everyone else could cover the corners and Trotter could basically be a 5th lineman lined up over the Center making it way harder to run on. I would take Levon Kirkland at this point just some body that can take a block on and make a play.

McCown getting sacked for a safety by Temple's Muhammad Wilkerson

Luke McCown did it, he set a new standard for worst Qb performance in NFL history. The previous torchbearer was Temple’s own Henry Burris who, on a Sunday Night, the last game of the 2002 season, went 7 for 19 and threw 4 interceptions. Well McCown topped that with 1 fewer reception and only 59 yards. Burris threw for 79 yards. Congrats McCown and at least you know you have a long and fruitful CFL career ahead of you (Burris has since won the Grey Cup and the MVP of the CFL)

The Kevin Eckel Story : Following in his brother’s footsteps

I was playing NCAA 12 against Navy in an dynasty game and i quickly noticed a very familiar name and number playing fullback for them, ECKEL #32. I didn't remember him having a little brother but I really had not reason to since he is a good deal younger so i decided to do some research. It turns out that Kevin Eckel did play football for Navy but in this past off season was kicked off the team for violating rules. It doesn't say what he did but we all remember that Kyle ended his navy career by being dismissed from the Academy before graduation and basically told get as far away from the Navy as possible. That's a proud Naval Family tradition right there!

Notes

I missed most of week 1 of the NFL having to chauffer Chambers around so in week 2 I sat down and watch Red Zone from beginning to end. 1 thing I noticed, especially during the 1 o clock games ,only the bad teams were involved in the exciting games sans the Packers and that wasn’t that close once the Packers took the lead , Bills/Raiders, Cards/Skins, and Bucs/Vikings the only team with a real shot at the playoff are the Cards just cause that division is so bad, I guess the Bucs have an outside shot.

So here are my thoughts after some 11 hours of football. (This is quite boring and I don’t suggest reading it accept for my 1 joke about the Roethlisberger almost injury.)

-I take it the Bills went to the old school throwbacks as their man uniform this season? They wore the white version last week and the sweet blue ones this week. Much better than the Arena League uniforms they were wearing recently.

-I think it was Jim Mora Jr who commented on Troy Aikman’s critical fumble Monday Night, it took me forever to realize he was talking about Romo.

-Cam is going to be a player. I know they lost both but these 2 games were better than any 2 in JaMarcus’ career. I like when he runs the read option and the “Tebow” (fake qb draw, throw a pass)

-I hope the Lions mascot wasn’t injured when Jamaal Charles slid into him.

-Hey look, Gabe Carimi is starting at right tackle for the Bears (he did get injured later in the game) taken 6 slots after Watkins. Also James Carpenter is starting at RT for Seattle, Orlando Franklin for Denver but wait those are Tackles (cause god know the Eagles couldn’t use one of them) Well John Moffitt is starting RG also for Seattle, and hell the fucking guard from Lehigh, Will Rackley, taken in the 3rd round is starting for Jacksonville.

- Denarius Moore makes some sweet catches.

-a healthy Darren McFadden is pretty awesome to watch.

-The current version of Donovan McNabb is not.

-Cam Cameron got a raw deal as the Dolphins head coach. Yeah he drafted Ted Ginn Jr and John Beck and a bunch of other busts but what the hell else has Miami done since then?

-Devery Henderson is very good at running deep.

-I wish REDZONE would become more standardized. 1 thing fix would be blocking the scrolling ticker on the bottom of the screen from CBS and Fox and maybe overlaying their own; mainly I don’t like the scrolling ticker and less so when it changes every 5 minutes. Speaking of redzone why would anyone want Sunday Ticket anymore unless they lived out of market from their hometown team?Red zZone streamlines everything for me so I don’t have to make any decision or think. God Bless Red Zone.

-That fake fb dive play never works (it actually worked later in the day with Tenn.) its still a stupid play.

-Oh Shit Roethlisberger almost got Kimo Von Oelhoffened and it was by Raheem Brock too, that would have made my fucking day. Except like his Temple Owls against Penn State, Raheem Brock couldn’t finish the job.

-Are the Colts and Browns even playing today or was the blackout everywhere for the good of the country.

-Kenny Britt is a god damn monster and if can stay out of trouble he will be a dominate player for years to come.

-Patrick Peterson’s first 2 weeks in the NFL: return a kick off for a touchdown in week 1, block a Field Goal in week 2. I really wish we could have figured out a way to grab him for the Cardinals. Hell I would rather have him than the 2nd round pick next year.

The Chiefs season

- You heard it here first; Detroit is winning the Super Bowl. On a related note, it’s kinda funny to watch the KC Chiefs implode.

-Svelte Mount Cody is still pretty big.

-Why aren’t the Panthers trying to run the ball, A combined 11 attempts for 18 yards on Sunday? That’s not even trying. They have 2 pretty good running backs and some semblance of an O line… The loaf of bread fumble by Steve Smith was pretty bad.

-Fitzpatrick to Johnson is this generations Montana to Rice

-This is really boring ( I realized this around the start of the 4th quarter of all the games since most of them were bad)

-Where was the review for the Darren Sproles touchdown? According to Monday Morning Quarterback the Review guy was trying to signal down but it wasn’t working, Good system everybody.

-I didn’t mention it but it is fun as hell to watch Cutler get blasted on almost every play. He is def my most hated quarterback with Matty Ice #2.

Peek-A-Boo!

-The Similarities between Jason Campbell and Jeff Blake are astounding: both Black, mediocre quarterbacks, but can throw a deep ball that always leave the top of the screen.

-OK so I reached the point of not wanting to write anymore somewhere early in the first quarter of the late games, maybe cause I wanted to just watch the Chargers pats game. But that game sucked though the Vince Wilfork interception almost made up for it. Also I realized that having Phillip Rivers as your fantasy quarterback is really infuriating. Every ball he throws looks sooo ugly that you are not surprised when it’s intercepted.

-Is it me or are the officials not calling helmet to helmet on the quarterback every time? It’s like 60% of the time this season, and I mean blatant ones too they aren't calling.

Quick eagles - I was impressed by DeSean running down Abraham . And the reach block by Jason Peters also on Abraham on a wide pitch. That’s one of the hardest blocks for a tackle to get out there and beat the end to a spot and he not only did it but drove Abraham back like 10 yards.

AND FINALLY FOR THOSE THAT STUCK WITH IT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

I can’t be the only person that noticed a ton of touchdowns today by white guys.

So many that I actually lost count during the days , I got to about 10 but here it is, 15 touchdowns scored by white guys in the NFL in week 2. That has to be some sort of record since to 70s at least.

Don’t believe me? Here are the names

WHITE MAN TOUCHDOWN LIST FOR WEEK 2

Scott Chandler

Tony Scheffler

Evan Moore

Peyton Hillis x2

Dallas Clark

Dane Sanzenbacker

Jeff King

John Kuhn

Jordy Nelson

Eric Decker x2

Owen Daniels

Rob Gronkowski x2

And In the Colts vs Browns game only white people scored touchdowns ( Hillis x2, Moore, Clark) maybe that’s why it wasn’t on tv that much.

edit: i originally thought it was 16 but upon further inspection David Nelson is just really light skinned. I really did go through every box score and google the names of the guys i didn't recognize.

T Sizzle 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:54:00.010-04:00

A nice, healthy lunch

I think I saw Chris shed a tear when his Brother in Law/Computer Program, Dave, went all Hal 9000 on him and drafted Ray Rice with the 2nd pick. After getting the 3rd pick Chris had to be counting the seconds until he could take Rice, maybe Dave did it to spite Chris. He decided on Shady McCoy who should have a fine season catching the ball and will get his yards on the ground but with Vick and now Ronnie Brown on the roster goal line carries will probably be scarce for McCoy. Felix Jones is still part of a crowded backfield except this time he is atop the depth chart which would hopefully mean more touchdowns because he only scored 2 last year. Chris even reformed that dominate Arkansas backfield with Jones by selecting Darren McFadden. McFadden finally showed his true worth last season averaging over 5 yards a carry with over 1100 yards. Of course, the main knock on McFadden is his upright running style and propensity to get injured. If he stays healthy T Sizzle will have the best running back group in the league.

Chris continued his reign as Captain Homer by selecting almost every Raven available not named Ray Rice. Flacco gives him a solid but not great starting quarterback who should be good for 3,500 yards a mid 20 touchdowns. Anquan Boldin, though, is not the top flight guy he was in Arizona and really fell off at the end of the season only getting over 100 yards once all of last season. Add in the Ravens defense and Ed Dickson for good measure. Brandon Lloyd is an interesting player, a complete bust in San Fran he then bounced around with Chicago and Washington and finally landed in Denver. After doing nothing his first season there he blew up as Kyle Orton long ball threat and led the NFL in yards but he sat there until the 6th round to finally be drafted. Now I doubt he can recreate the numbers of last season but he should be very solid as Orton is still the Qb and Tebow has fallen out of favor.. Gates comes off an injury but is still the best tight end in football.

Chris put together a solid team after the near miss on Ray Rice and should be expected to compete for a playoff spot.

All the Wright Moves 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:53:00.004-04:00

The Dog that drafted 3rd is definitely Mira in dog form

-Team Felony will be led out onto the field by their captains Mike Vick, Cedric Benson, and Braylon Edwards followed closely by their respective parole officer. Wright’s team really comes down to one member, Mick Vick. Vick averaged an absurd 31.3 points in his 12 games last season, the only qbs in the last 10 years to eclipse that mark are Brady in 07 and Manning in 04. So now with his 100 million dollar contract and a whole season of game tapes for defensive coordinators can Vick live up to being the 5th pick in the draft and first quarterback off the board? Vick’s previous best season was 2002 and that was only 341 points, a solid mark for a starting qb (top 4 that year actually) but that would not justify such a lofty draft position. I really don’t know what to make of Vick going forward and while I discount the preseason for the most part, it was not encouraging to watch that Pittsburgh game.

He will have his huge games that single handedly defeat fantasy opponents but will we see the return of those 8 or 9 point games that he would occasionally have in Atlanta? Of course there is the injury factor and him never completing a whole season but you take the random missed game for the chance of greatness. Vick will perform well this season but not reach the crazy numbers of last season. The one major advantage Vick has is that being in the Eagles offense will continue to throw regardless of situation whereas in Atlanta he would hand the ball off 25 times a game so Vick will get his opportunity to keep getting points.

With a pick so high on qb the rest of the roster dips in production. Michael Turner only has 1116 carries in his 7 year career but 80% of them have come the last 3 seasons. He broke down in 08 after leading the league in carries in 07 and he led the league carries again last season so maybe this season is another breakdown. Even if he doesn’t miss multiple games Turner didn’t look nearly as good last year as he had in the past, he’s an old 28. I really do hate Cedric Benson and would rather see him in prison than the football field and Ryan Grant is coming off a year ending ankle injury but would have probably taken the job back with no competition until James Starks torched the Eagles in the playoffs and now he might split carries. Barber will provide some depth as his role as Matt Forte’s backup.

Wright is quickly moving up the charts as the 2nd biggest homer in the league, supplanting Stak but still way behind Hanlon and his Ravens love. Wright paired Vick up with DeSean and Celek and even added ex Eagle Kolb as his backup quarterback. Stak is looking to move McNabb maybe you would have interest in him, Wright? I would be a lot more excited about having Jackson if and when he gets a new contract. I fear there will be some Randy Moss in Oakland type games if the contract doesn’t get sorted out. Braylon Edwards would be a lot more dangerous if Alex Smith wasn’t his qb.I didn’t realize how much Donald Drive slid last season and how pedestrian Tony Gonzalez is now.

Does Vick have 7+ elite games of the 13 week regular season? If he does Wright will find a way into to playoffs but if Vick falters it Wright could be in for a long season.

Hartman 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:53:00.003-04:00

Trust me, Fantasy football is somewhere in there

You want to know why fantasy football sucks. Look at the stats of this team last season, Points for: 1330 (102.2 a game) 2nd most in the league and only 19 behind the leader. Points Against: 1233 4th most against but still a 100 point differential between PF and PA. Right? If I offered those numbers to anybody in the league they would probably take them, well if you were Hartman last season that means you finished under .500 and out of the playoffs. The team that won the division, All the Wright Moves, scored 126 less points and gave up 40 more and they won 1 game more to win the division. It wasn’t even close at how much better Hartman’s team was than Wrights going into the playoffs. Fantasy Football is hell, lodged somewhere near the Stygian Marsh outside of the City of Dis just off the 5th Circle where everyday there is a draft and every time your #1 pick breaks his leg in the first game of the season.

For the 2nd year in a row Hartman ended up with Peterson as his top pick , this time with the #1. Peterson was easily the safest pick in the draft. No real threat behind him, a run first coaching philosophy and blessed with the ability to stay fairly healthy, a similar year to the last couple would put him in the top 50 in yards in history at only 26. Greg Jennings should continue doing great things in Green Bay and somehow Dez Bryant just kept hanging around until hart grabbed him in the 7th round, he was easily the best rookie wide out till he got injured. Ingram brings a good pedigree to New Orleans but there might not be enough carries to go around for him to be great this year and Knowshon will get his chance in Denver but the evil touchdown vulture Willis McGahee is there now and will be the goal line back. Vernon Davis could be a beast if San Fran had a qb.

Even if you don’t like Romo or Matt Ryan one of them will have a top 10 fantasy season. I would watch out for Harts team come playoff time that is, if he doesn’t get screwed by the Fantasy Football Gods again.

Stakman Jones 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:52:00.003-04:00

Stak is down with the HIV Prevention Mobsters

Stak did the right thing. It was the third round and having already taken a top tier running back, Jamaal Charles, and a top wide out, Larry Fitzgerald, he rolled the dice on the injured *Peyton Manning. With the super short preseason no one really knew how bad the injury is and what his time table for return was. Maybe the Colts themselves didn’t even know exactly considering they activate Peyton over the weekend but by Tuesday he was seeing more specialists and the locals were saying the sky was falling in Indianapolis. I would have gone this route as well with grabbing Manning but taking him really necessitated selecting a good back early on, like a handcuffed running back tandem. Stak kept letting the round slip away as though he was just going to go later to see Mr T at the mall and when Stak finally got up and went to the mall they told him Mr. T just left but here is Donovan McNabb just idling around because no one wants to see Donovan anymore, well since it was then the 13th round and the number of warm bodies was diminishing, Stak did.

Stak says he believes in Donovan; he didn’t have any help in Washington and him and Shanahan were never a good fit and he was just unlucky. I can believe that to a point. And if this was 2009 I would be super excited to have Donovan on the Vikings but it’s 2011. The Vikings still have the running game but they didn’t do anything to help with receivers, Is Percy Harvin really a #1? The O line is getting old and worst of all the Defense is nowhere near as good as it once was. Even if he performs well I don’t think the Vikings win enough for McNabb to keep Ponder from getting his shot. And at this point that is the only healthy quarterback on Staks roster.

Passed the 2 studs, Larry and Jamaal, Bradshaw is a good back but will always share duty with Jacobs and people who proclaim the return of Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch only look to 1 game, the playoff game vs the Saints and more specifically that 1 run. What people forget is that in 12 regular season games for Seattle he never broke 100 yards and averaged 3.5 yards a carry and the game following his breakout playoff performance? 2 yards against the Bears. Holmes is a vet and teammate Plaxico could bring something to the table and maybe Austin Collie will stop twitching on the carpet of Lucas Oil Stadium.

Stak would need a miracle to make the playoffs. Precisely, the miracle of a perfectly healthy Peyton Manning reproducing his 2004 season, failing that I think it will be a long season for Stakman Jones.

*THIS PREVIEW DOESNT MAKE AS MUCH SENSE KNOWING NOW THAT PEYTON HAD ANOTHER SURGERY BUTIM NOT REWRITING IT

The Stultz 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:51:00.003-04:00

This looks like a fun game for your soon-to-be-born kid to play.

Ahh Arian “Nation” Foster, possibly my finest draft day gem ever, almost 100 points more than the 2nd place running back last season, is now the number 1 topic for Fantasy Football fans everywhere now that Johnson signed, yes even bigger than Peyton. Foster was demoted his senior year at Tennessee due to fumbling issues and the Houston Texans thought so highly of him that they drafted Ben Tate in the 2nd round of the 2010 draft. Even with all that working against him Foster dominated Football last season and I was probably the only team in America not to make the playoffs with Foster. But now Foster tweaks a hamstring in preseason and lashes out against the fans and there has been no official word if Foster will play week 1, a hamstring injury is almost always connected to not being ready/stretched out properly, was Foster a one year wonder? If Foster isn’t healthy would the Texans give the job to Tate and not look back? In conclusion, Arian Nation is a land of contrast.

Did anyone in the media actually use Arian Nation as a nickname when talking about Foster? I would think they would get in trouble for the connotations and I just can’t see Berman pulling it with, There goes Arian down the sidelines, and goosesteps his way into the end zone. Let it be shown that I used it as the week 1 review title last year. Oh look Peter King did, I didn’t hear about him getting in trouble so I guess it wasn’t that big of a deal, though it did seem to angry Blacksportsonline.

LaGarrette Blount has sole possession of the starting job in Tampa now that Cadillac Williams is gone, Blount’s backup is now Kregg Lumpkin which sounds a lot like Blumpkin. Ryan Matthews is a terrible football player who should never see the field. Vincent Jackson and Brandon Marshall should have real good seasons respectively, even if one of their qbs is Chad Henne which leads to Stultz’ quarterback situation, matt Stafford and the aforementioned Chad Henne. Stafford is perfectly fine when not injured but that is something he hasn’t managed to do in his 2 years in the league and Chad Henne is really bad, Miami will regret not making the move for Orton just like they regret not signing Brees.

I like this Stultz team even with the Foster and Stafford questions.

I Kissed my Sweetheart with my Fist 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:50:00.005-04:00

Hey Listino, would this be a better topping than mushrooms next year?

Spence Giggersly comes off a disappointing 4-9 season which was the worst record in the league. An interesting Note: Last year was the first season that no team had either double digit wins or double digit losses. Drew Brees should continue chucking the ball around down in New Orleans even though they say they are going to commit to the run. Let’s see if that holds true when they are down 10 points in the 3rd quarter to Green bay in the opening week. Maurice Jones-Drew is now the only potent offensive player in Jacksonville with the release of Garrard. Not that David Garrard was any good but it’s very easy to imagine 8 in the box because the quarterback is either Luke McCown or Blaine Gabbert. He will a lot of touches but yards could be tough to come by. DeAngelo Williams is another running back coming off of an injury that signed a long term deal . But will Cam Newton offer any breathing room for Williams? Pierre Thomas still holds the starting job in New Orleans but with a high pick used on Ingram and speedster Darren Sproles brought in to replace Reggie Bush how long will he have to prove he deserves the bulk of the carries.

Mike Wallace broke through last season averaging over 20 yards a catch and 10 touchdowns. He is a bigger DeSean Jackson and I don’t know if teams will be able to cover him running deep because Big Ben loves to throw it up and have Wallace run under it. I really think the best days of Ochocinco are behind him and I don’t see the magic New England rebirth that Moss had in Chad’s future. That said he will still catch some balls because he can’t do much less than he did in Cincinnati last year. Sidney Rice is an interesting bench guy coming off a major injury and a move to Seattle. Seattle paid Rice to be their #1 but he isn’t healthy to start the season so we will see what happens when he gets on the field. Dallas Clark should perform well regardless of who the quarterback is in Indy.

This is a pretty good team but they do have some question marks due to the offensive situations for his running backs. If everything goes right Gigger should challenge for the playoffs.

Fighting Amish 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:50:00.004-04:00

Infatuation

-Wait one second, Mira has 5 Patriots on his roster and 4 in his starting lineup. Everyone knows Superfraud Mira is a Red Socks fan but fraudulent fandom has him follow the Pittsburgh Steelers during the NFL season. We all know about Brady restraining order against you and how you were writing him weekly love letters over the past 3 seasons updating him on how he was doing for your fantasy team and why he should come visit you and the gold lined streets of Oaktown, New Jersey. But does he know that you are supposedly not a Patriots fan? How would he react to your Stillers love? You padded your roster with 4 Steelers and if we had to draft coaches you said you would take Mike Tomlin with your first pick. There is a battle raging on this fantasy football season, not one of points and statistics, but a battle in Mira’s heart for there can be only 1 true love either The Pittsburgh Steelers or Tom Brady and until this fracas is sorted out Mira’s team will be in upheaval.

Could this love triangle really impede the Amish from losing in the Semi Finals, which they have done in 7 of the last 8 seasons? 4 Patriot/Steeler running backs were drafted, the handcuffed tandems of BenJarvus Green Ellis/Danny Woodhead and Rashard Mendenhall/Isaac Redman . Mendenhall should perform as well as he has in the past but the Woodhead/Ellis tandem could be in trouble if rookie Stevan Ridley gets healthy. He actually has 2 non Patriot/Steelers in his receiving core with the frustrating Dwayne Bowe and Tampa’s Mike Williams, Bowe is coming off a breakout season but he and the Chiefs struggled down the stretch and Mike Williams had a solid rookie season but now the pressure is on. But the Amish couldn’t go long without adding more Steelers and Pats, Wes Welker returns from an injury and hopes to get back to 100 receptions and Antonio Brown may be the receiver that finally pushes Hines Ward to the slot. And some other patriot is his tight end.

Will Mira’s heart be sent aflutter as Brady is in constant struggle with the Steelers, if they should meet in the playoff who whilst Mira cheer for? It’s not his best team but Mira sneaks into the playoffs only to lose again.

Brew Tang Klan 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:48:00.008-04:00

I dont deserve a picture

By Mira

What can one say about the only three time winner and the long standing

commissioner of the Auch League, other than when Uncle Joe finally comes

back to life he'll be smiling and offering his proud comrade thanks and

adulation for keeping his memory alive. But I'm not here to talk about that,

I'm here to talk about his football team. Rivers will put up another

monster year - especially if his weapons actually play unlike last year. Floyd

will be a nice flex and a good chance to double up a TD any week. I like

Greene as the Jets run, run, run because they have no qb, but I'm worried

about the Addai and Brown combo now that Indy is Peytonless. Kerry, 11th

most passing yards in NFL history, doesn't strike fear in anyone. Andre

Johnson will continue to be a monster. Witten will have a big year if his white

homie is done playing drunken hiden and seek with his buddies in the woods

and stays healthy. Colston should see his fair share of catches as well.

I see an 8-5 record and a playoff spot for the perenniel contender. Just

remember he's won the league with a much worse looking team than this.

Sunsets with My Fiance 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:48:00.007-04:00

Joey Sometimes, 7th grade St. Charles Science Fair

Looks who just got engaged. There it is, boys, the tipping point, with Summers getting married the league will officially shift to a majority of married members. So lets’ enough the last season of equilibrium because after this season when I finally enforce the No owner is allowed to be married rule and must find 7 new owners and eventually settle on the a league of just me and the 3 Chambers brothers, Mira, Stak, and Cousin Paul and instead of drafting NFL players we draft strippers based on a complex scoring system but no one actually keeps score at the end of the week but everyone wins in the end except Mira who still finds a way to lose in the semi finals.

Ohh yeah, football, this is what football has come to: the highest drafted running back tandem taken was Chris Johnson and Matt Forte. With Johnson finally getting his contract straightened out and if he is ready to play this season then Summers got the best running back in football with the 7th pick but Forte follows only Cedric Benson on my list of disliked players and Benson I’ve disliked since he was at Texas but with Forte it was watching him and realizing that he just doesn’t run hard and pile on this article by the chronically wrong KC Joyner where he claims Forte is as good as Peterson and my dislike of him grows. Even with his “breakout year” of 2010 he only scored a total of 9 touchdowns and though I dislike him I realize that Chicago has no one else at RB except an injured Marion barber so Forte will get the majority of carries but like the rest of the Bears his performance will be subpar.

By the end of the season Forte may be Summers 5th best back as Summers grabbed 3 potential guys in the later rounds. James Starks is already splitting carries with Ryan Grant in GB, DeMarco Murray joins a crowded backfield in Dallas but will probably get his shot down the road and finally Ben Tate, whose injury last season opened the door for Arian Foster’s record breaking season. Tate was a 2nd round pick and now Foster is the hobbled one and there are probably some lingering reasons why Foster was benched at Tennessee during his senior season, like fumblitis.

Schaub is a perfectly accepted higher end quarterback. If Kenny Britt figures out a way to stay out of jail, him paired with Reggie Wayne and Percy Harvin (probably the only starter who will benefit from the new return point rule) are a formidable bunch. Summers looks like he has put together a team that is capable of getting him back to the Auch Bowl , and losing of course, which he has done in 3 out of the last 5 seasons.

The SeaAuchs 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:48:00.005-04:00

He's Putting My Kids Through College

What do you get when you combine a guy with concussions problems, 2 White Running backs, an Aids patient, a starting rookie wide, and a couple of guys with bad hands with the 2nd best quarterback in football? Another season of not winning the Auch Bowl for The Sea Auchs. 14 of the 15 seasons this franchise has participated in the league and all Ben has to show for it is 1 Auch Bowl appearance. The only current teams that haven’t been in the championship game are The Daves, Hartman, and All the Wright Moves - the 3 youngest franchises in the league.

The last time I saw 2 white running backs on the same team was probably an All Inter-Ac Team from the late 90s. Hillis really slowed down at the end of the season and Gerhart doesn’t even count. Jahvid Best has some talent but he has a history of concussions and is coming off an injury, luckily for him Mikel LeShoure got injured before the start of the season and is out for the season. Steven Jackson is the workhorse that should grind out yards maybe not to the tune of a couple years ago but somewhere around 1200 yards should be expected. And Hey look, Darren Sproles may be a good version of Reggie Bush in New Orleans

The Jeremy Maclin illness had to be one of the weirdest stories of the off season. If the Eagles didn’t want everyone speculating and starting rumors like AIDS they could have made a little attempt to say something, but that wouldn’t be the Eagles way . It’s great he is fine but has he gained any weight back? Has he been hit since last season? What can actually be expected of him early on. Julio Jones should be good but I wouldn’t want to bank on a rookie wide out though ben did a good job of grabbing serviceable back ups Breaston, Evans, Ward, and Jones.

I am not a fan of this team but as we see tonight if your quarterback is Aaron Rodgers and is going to throw for almost 300 yards and 3 touchdowns in the first half of every game you will have a good shot at winning a couple.

Dirty Daves 2011 preview

2011-09-08T22:47:00.004-04:00

Damn you smell good

How dare you draft Ray Rice right in front of Chris. You must have been laughing your ass off knowing that Chris was all but guaranteed Ray Rice and you stole him right out of his hands.

You should apologize and for your penitence help Chris find where Erin hid his balls. After making the playoffs the first 3 seasons he was in the league, Dave has found himself with losing records the last 2. Can he reclaim the lost glory this season? Ray Rice is a solid player to start with, no more Willis McGahee to steal touchdowns, a good track record of staying healthy, and he catches balls out of the backfield. Of all the top running backs not named Peterson he is definitely the safest. Even after getting hurt at the end of last season the 49ers extended Frank Gores contract and with not much passing ability there he should get the brunt of the work again and Beanie Wells with get the opportunity to start for Arizona and Dave was smart enough to grab Stephens-Howling and Chester Taylor. Hell he even grabbed Ricky Williams if something should happen to Rice in Baltimore.

Miles Austin might not have set the world on fire after his crazy 09 season but he put up solid numbers for a Cowboys team that quit on the season. If they actually compete this year Austin could put up big numbers. Manningham is a solid #2 and Santana Moss will probably catch a shit load of balls in Washington again since they don’t seem to have anyone else that can catch the football. Most people think of Pittsburgh as the grind it out team they were a couple years ago but the offense goes through Roethlisberger and he should have another good season.

This Dirty Daves team isn’t flashy but he has good talent at every position and depth to go along with it, expect a playoff push for them.

Lord Lansdowne 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:47:00.003-04:00

The Lansdowne Adoption Agency is not taking and children at this time, Thank You.

The Champ is Here! Fratini will tell you it was all about his drafting acumen and team play but in reality it was the smart decision to claim Vick off waivers after week 1 and he did compound that by getting Blount on the wire. He went with his same strategy of last year, 3 great receivers a bunch of back up quality quarterbacks and a really, really bad backfield.

This year the receiver triumvirate is Calvin Johnson, Hakeem Nicks, and Roddy White last year it was Andre Johnson, Roddy White, and Greg Jennings. Give me last years if I have to choose. They will score a good amount, though I don’t think Nicks is a guarantee for a huge season.

Continuing with the Fratini Draft Strategy (patent pending) step 2 is take an undersized running back in round 5, last year was Jahvid Best this year it’s Reggie Bush. Even though this is a horrendous pick if Bush manages to stay healthy for the season he will probably perform better than Best did due to injury. Tim Hightower is now a Shanahan back and we don’t know if the Shanahan offense actually works outside of Denver. Spiller and Jackson will split up in Buffalo.

And the last step, but most important, just keep drafting quarterbacks. Frat set a new record with the latest pick of a starting quarterback, the 10th round, and in succession he took Bradford, Orton, skip a round, Fitzpatrick, and Cam Newton. Pretty impressive stuff. His 7 disk Become Your Own Fantasy Draft Guru set is available for $99.95 at all major retailers.

In the end Frat could get lucky again and find a waiver back as good as LeGerrette Blount later in the season but I guarantee you another Michael Vick will not be walking through that locker room door through waivers. I don’t even dislike orton and Bradford but I don’t think they will do enough to offset the lack of running game.

Chester Jefferson is Dead 2011 Preview

2011-09-08T22:44:00.001-04:00

Person Family's a Fraud

1. I Kissed my Sweetheart with my Fist

2. T Sizzle

3. Lord Lansdowne

4. Brew Tang Klan

Larry Iversly

1. Sunsets with my Fiance

2. Hartman

3. The Stultz

4. The Sea Auchs

Uncle Dave Miller

1. Dirty Dave

2. Fighting Amish

3. All the Wright Moves

4. Stakman Jones

This was a tougher year than most predicting the playoffs mainly because i kinda like a lot of teams. I guess that is a good sign in fantasy when almost all the teams look kinda good but they have their holes.

Byes Sunsets with my Fiance, Dirty Daves

1st round

Fighting Amish beat I kiss my Sweetheart

Hartman beats T Sizzle

2nd round

Sunsets beat Fighting Amish

hartman beats Dirty Daves

Auch Toilet Bowl

Sunsets beat Hartman

congrats Summer you finally get over the hump and win your first Auch Title.

Week 10

2010-11-17T22:41:00.006-05:00

With a flick of the wrist this ball goes 70 yards in the air

Michael Vick's 60

QB Michael Vick LL 60

RB Fred Jackson Hart 27

RB Knowshon Moreno DD 21

RB Maurice Jones Drew HWG 24

WR Mike Wallace SMJ 25

WR Roddy White LL 25

TE Jermaine Gresham TSA 13

K David Akers SMJ 12

DEF Patriots SMJ 13

The Stultz 44

QB Peyton Manning 9

RB Rashard Mendenhall 5

RB Ryan Torian 0

WR Michael Jenkins 4

WR Mike Sims-Walker 2

WR Steve Smith 0

TE Marcedes Lewis 5

K Adam Vinatieri 12

DEF Jets 7

I know Halloween was 2 weeks ago but i thought Herky, the Iowa haweye mascot dressed as Captain America was awesome

Michael Vick had the single greatest fantasy performance in the history of our league. Only 2 guys in the history of football would have beaten 60 in our scoring system.

Billy Cannon in 1961 rushed for 216 caught 114 and 5 touchdowns(62 pts) but the single greatest game would belong to George Blanda he threw for 418, 7 touchdowns and 1 interception which you would think would be only be 61 points but he also kicked all 7 extra points and with our scoring system he would get those. a 68 Point Game. For more great games check this out.

Playoff Picture

WELL we are entering week 11 and every team is still very much in it, in fact no team having below a 4-6 record is, well, a record. There's always 1 team totally out of it but not this year. Hell in theory The only two 7-3 teams Frat and Mira havent clinched a playoff spot yet, it would take for both of them to lose out and a couple other things to happen but it would be possible, not probable though.

SO I HAVE ACHIEVED FANTASY PARITY, THIS IS WHAT EVERY GOOD COMMISSIONER SHOULD STRIVE FOR! Because you want everyone paying attention to their team all 13 weeks, no dud teams, no unbeatable teams.

Figuring out all the tie breakers was almost as hard as this Word Scramble

So lets take a look at the playoffs

first the rules

PLAYOFF SEEDS

As always here are the procedures to break ties

Remember we do not reseed after each round

if the teams are in the same division

1.head to head record

2.divisional record

3. Power Ranking

4.total points scored

5. Breakdown record

6.least amount of points given up

If different divisions

1.head to head

2. Power Ranking

2.total points

3.divisional record

4.Breakdown record

5.least points given up

Divisional Ties are broken first, so at most only 3 teams could be up for the final spot and then we go from there.

1. Fighting Amish (7-3)

2. Lord Lansdowne (7-3)

3. Brew Tang Klan (5-5)

4. Bill Compton's Bloods (6-4)

5. The Stultz (5-5)

6. All the Wright Moves (5-5)

Ties broken

1.FAM/LL - The amish defeated the Lord in week 5

3.BTK/AWM split head to head/same divisional record/ BTK has higher power ranking.

5. STZ/TSZ Stultz defeated Hanlon in week 4 (rematch this week)

5. STZ/AWM Stulz defeated All the Wright Moves in week 6

6.AWM/TSZ All the Wright Moves defeated T Sizzle in week 5

POWER RANKING

i feel like i should explain why i regard it so highly in the tie breakers. First look at it.

Each category is ranked 12-1 with 12 being best, the 3 categories are Record, Points, and breakdown. Record and Points are self explanatory but Breakdown(which can be looked at in depth here) Give each teams record if they played every team every week of the season.

I feel Power gives the best indication of the better team whilst breaking ties after of course actual wins and losses.

Northwestern is playing Illinois this Saturday in Wrigley Field. Someone is going to die in the ivy.

FOOTBALL

NEWS AND NOTES

-The $4 million buy out at the end of the season and the 10 Mil next year makes a lot more sense than the 5 year 70 Million with 40 mil guaranteed. I could see the Skins keeping McNabb through next year possibly, so they at least have that option

-There is no way on God's Earth that the Eagles get a 1st and a 3rd for Kolb as Adam Schefter said this morning.

-Speaking of moronic things I heard or read on ESPN, Is Todd McShay retarded?

a supposed draft expert still has Jake Locker as a top 10 pick?

For All the flash and hype Locker has proven to be a slightly above average college quarterback because he can run a little bit. 14tds and 6 ints so far this season, but he's only throw multiple touchdowns in 2 games this season(4 against Syracuse and 5 against Oregon St) in the other 6 games hes thrown 5 touchdowns and 5 interceptions.

-I dont even really want to think about it or talk about it but HEY TEMPLE YOU SHOULD PROBABLY THINK ABOUT FINDING ANOTHER BACKUP RUNNING BACK SINCE PIERCE IS MADE OF GLASS AND MATT BROWN is 5'6" 160 lbs. BROWN CANNOT RUN IN BETWEEN THE TACKLES.I haven't even read the updates to see if Pierce is really injured again because i dont want to see anything about the game, Jesus Christ I'm angry. Imagine if i cared this much about anything important.

PHOTOS FROM THE FRATS WEDDING

Just look at that Happy couple. That's Uncle Mario in the middle, he performed the ceremony

short and sweet

Week 8

2010-11-04T22:03:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the quality of this update.

QB Matt Stafford HWG 35

RB Jamaal Charles BCB 23

RB LeGarrette Blount LL 23

RB Arian Foster BTK 22

WR Calvin Johnson Hart 28

WR Brandon Lloyd BCB

TE Jason Witten SMJ 15

K Dan Carpenter FAM 17

DEF Buccaneers TSZ 21

QB Aaron Rodgers AWM 8

RB Earnest Graham AWM 0

RB Chris Ivory FAM 0

RB Marshawn Lynch TSA 0

WR Kenny Britt TSA 0

WR Randy Moss TSZ 0

TE Zach Miller LL 0

K David Akers SMJ 0

DEF Vikings HWG 0

That's a lot of 0s right in a row there.

Surprisingly neither Ieshuh Griffin nor Linda McMahon won their election

Fantasy Bracketology

We are now in the home stretch of the season with only 5 games to go so it's time to look forward to the playoffs and seedings.

Let's just say, I'm on the fence of who I think the best team is now

PLAYOFF SEEDS

As always here are the procedures to break ties

Remember we do not reseed after each round

if the teams are in the same division

1.head to head record

2.divisional record

3. Power Ranking

4.total points scored

5. Breakdown record

6.least amount of points given up

If different divisions

1.head to head

2. Power Ranking

2.total points

3.divisional record

4.Breakdown record

5.least points given up

Divisional Ties are broken first, so at most only 3 teams could be up for the final spot and then we go from there.

1. Lord Lansdowne (6-2)

2. Fighting Amish (5-3)

3. All The Wright Moves (5-3)

4. The Stultz (5-3)

5. Bill Compton's Bloods (5-3)

6. Brew Tang Klan (4-4)

(tie) Ya Ya Here We Go (4-4)

(tie) T Sizzle (4-4)

Lord Lansdowne would play the winner of The Stultz vs Bill Compton's Bloods.

Ties Broken

FAM/AWM - For the bye, Don't play each other Fighting Amish win by having the higher Power Rating.

STZ/BCB - Same division, Stultz won the first head to head match up.

BTK/HWG/T Sizzle - The Brew Tang Klan defeated Here We Go and T Sizzle this year to win the final playoff spot.

Quick Baseball Words

Who deserves a World Series ring more, Pat Burrell or Benjie Molina?

Burrell went 0-13 with 11 strikeouts

Molina was traded from the Giants to the Rangers to make room for Buster Posey.

I think Molina wins that one hands down.

Signs that no one cared about the World Series. I was at the gym watching ESPN on Tuesday and noticed these 2 things. The World Series was the 5th topic on PTI and Aside from a brief picture on the come-on, the 6pm sportscenter didn’t cover the series until 6:27. They broke down the freaking BCS before talking about the World Series.

Baby on board,

Something, something, Burt Ward...

Eagles

Andy Reid's 11-0 Post bye week record vs Peyton Manning's undefeated record against the Eagles, 1 has to go down. Everything favors the Eagles this week; The line says Eagles, Indy is coming off a Monday Night game for a short week on the road, and the Eagles have injured guys returning. But here is the one reason i like the Colts, Dimitri Patterson is starting at corner.

After the Kenny Britt debacle 2 weeks ago is there any reason to believe in this defensive backfield? Also looked for 4th string Tight End ,Jacob Tamme, to get 6 receptions 90 yards and a touchdown.

Mike Shanahan's glare can melt your soul

McNabbulous

I guess I was the only person who really didn't think it was a big deal that McNabb got benched in the late stages against the Lions. Then I heard 610 and 950 talk about it constantly all of Monday but it wasn't until I saw Around the Horn and PTI and other shows that I was really shocked. Every Single person on any of those shows attacked Shanahan and thought it was terrible to do that to poor McNabb. Really? A two time Super Bowl winning coach doesn't have the carte blanche to bench a quarterback who is playing terrible at the time? Especially going into a 2 minute drill since we all know the magic the Reid and McNabb have performed in the 2 minute drill over the past 11 years. It's like no one in the national media saw the Super bowl against the Pats.

But I still think it's not that big of a deal and McNabb will be the starter against the Eagles nexrt Monday Night.

I really don't know what's happening here.

News and Notes

-Kenny Britt goes 40 to 0 in 1 week flat.

-I know that the Redskins probably had the workout scheduled weeks in advance since it was the start of their bye week but the fact that Jamarcus Russell works out for them right after Shanahan criticizes McNabb's cardiovascular health is awesome.

-Randy Moss' amazing 0 point game in his return to Foxboro. You just knew that the Pats wouldnt let him do anything. The Vikings cutting him was pretty shocking but I am exciting for Young to Moss though the Eagles really should have gotten in their first so we could have had VICK to MOSS

-Let's give it up to LeGarrette Blount for blowing up this week. It's good to see him doing well and not punching players in the face.

- Seriously, Favre. Give it up, you being coddled by the trainer as you road off on the golf cart was one of the saddest things I'd ever seen. My hate for you has changed to pity.

If you thought the Blue Turf at Boise as offensive lay your eyes on Eastern Washington's blood soaked field

Prediction

look at this

Matt Forte Week by week performance

Week 1 -31

Week 2 -11

Week 3 -3

Week 4 -2

Week 5 -30

Week 6 -11

Week 7 -6

Week 8 -0

Week 9 -????

Each 4 week group he scored exactly 47 points and each 1 was started off with a bang.

Also The Big week opponents? Week 1, 2-5 Detroit Week 5, 1-6 Carolina Week 9, 0-7 Buffalo

So there is a 99% chance Matt Forte scores 29+ points this week.

Guess who All the Wright Moves is playing?

Week 7

2010-10-28T21:40:00.012-04:00

Declan Sullivan fell out of the guard tower.

Brian Kelly better learn how to facebook

Kenny Britt's 40

QB Carson Palmer BTK 38

RB Darren McFadden LL 43

RB Michael Turner Fam 26

WR Roddy White LL 33

WR Dwayne Bowe TSZ 20

TE Jason Whitten SMJ 16

K David Akers SMJ 15

DEF Titans BTK 15

Roy E Williams' 0

QB Tony Romo Hart 7

RB Correll Buckhalter DD 0

RB Ryan Matthews BTK 1

WR Roy E Williams SEA 0

WR Wes Welker SMJ 2

TE Brent Celek Hart 0

K Nick Folk DD 0

DEF Saints BMB 1

Glauser made that lineup change friday morning after the news broke of Kenny Britt's late night excursion and the announcement that he would miss at least the first quarter. The experts were thinking that Fisher might not play him at all, they were wrong.

So that's what a $25 million 3rd strike looking is

phils

I don’t even want to think about the NLCS right now, 97 wins and everyone seems to want to implode the team like the Vet. I will say that Oswalt pitching in relief was the dumbest thing to do, the 2nd was pinch hitting Francisco instead of Sweeney. Actually pitching Lincecum on 1 day rest in the 8th inning was the worst decision in the whole series but the Phils couldn't capitalize.

Here's my feeling If your team had the best record IN ALL OF BASEBALL they should get another shot with the lineup intact sans Werth. Cause there aint no way Werth is coming back.

I got way more joy than I expected seeing Cliff Lee get shelled. I was actually rooting for the Rangers , all the runs happened between the time I left the gym and got home so I was real surprised to be excited to see Lee walking off the mound and then the 3 run homer .

They sure picked the wrong week for the Eagles bye. Sure when they made the schedule the NFL knew when the World Series would be and surmised that the Phillies would probably be playing at home and to give the city a break from a double header. But, right now, the City really needed a football game to look forward to and get passed the Phillies loss. I can’t take any sports talk radio where I’ve heard everything from fire Manual and Amaro to trade Howard for a sack of rocks.

At least there was no Baseball game to interfere with the Sixers home opener last night.

Some time in the 3rd quarter Kerry Collins and Kenny Britt were secretly replaced with the 2004 versions of Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss, the Eagles defensive backfield did not know how to respond. A team can’t let that happen can they? Someone has to lose their job over it right? For 3 quarters the Titans offense didn’t come to play and they start running the alley oop play and the eagles had no way of stopping it. It was pretty funny to watch though.

So Vick is back to being the starter in what should be an interesting game next weekend against the Colts.

I really want a XXL Chalupa.

Gigger's future wedding present

Actual Fantasy Break down

It always happens to the new guy.

-Sorry Hartman, it just seems to be the way of the world in this league, Your first year in is a rough one. Wright lost Brady in the first game of the season on his way to a 4-9 record. Stak went 2-11 I think. Summers went 5-8. Worst part is? You’re 5th in offense, but last in points allowed at a robust 719(102.7 ppg) the only team giving up over 100 a game. And now Homo goes down for most of the season and you don’t even have a backup quarterback on your roster, but hey Ryan Fitzpatrick has put together a good season so far or Jon Kitna cause he is a known winner.

-Offense is up overall in the league. Last year teams averaged only 76.89 points a game and through 7 weeks this year teams are scoring an average of 92.7. I cant say why the explosion in scoring is happening cause now i kinda want to check my math because it doesn't seem like the NFL's scoring is up much maybe we are just starting the right people this year. We are football geniuses after all.

-Who is the worse coach, Dave who didn’t start a kicker and lost by 5 while his kicker on the bench got 6 or Me who has only started Hakeem Nicks for 5 of his possible 97 fantasy points? I did get his big fat 0 last week I dont know why either every week I thought it was a fluke and last weeks 0 and injury didn't help. Of course Glauser had a 40 on his bench with Britt this week and he lost because of it. All 3 are good selections.

I love Snoop but he is such a sports whore. Here he is with Ryan Mallet

Temple

what a strange time. Temple, Bowl eligible for the second time in a row. that's the first time that has happened since the Paleolithic era. The Owls finally changed quarterbacks out Chester Stewart in Mike Gerardi. Now Gerardi isn't great, it's not like Kellen Moore was sitting on the bench waiting for his turn but in his games so far he has thrown most of his passes where the reciever could actually catch them. even if they didnt the receiver at least had a play on it. Unlike Stewart who threw at least 6 passes a game 10 yards above everyones' heads.

6-2 with 2 more easy games (Akron/Kent State) before the East leading Ohio Bobcats come to the Linc for a Tuesday night game and then Miami who is tied 2nd in the east

Pierce has also looked really good with Matty Brown getting more carries.

Breath Holding slightly more dangerous than minorities.

FOOTBALL NEWS

-I don’t know how ESPN managed to do it but they have 2 female football announcers and they have the same exact voice, Pam Ward has been around for a couple year now and normally did the Noon Big 10 game on ESPN2 so I was surprised earlier in the year to hear her doing the Tuesday night game but it was actually Beth Mowins. I didn’t believe it until I looked it up on Wikipedia. How did they manage to clone that terrible voice.

-Am I out of my mind to think that Tavaris Jackson would probably perform better than Favre at this point? In 6 games Favre has completed 58% of his passed but for only 1191 yards with 7 touchdowns and 10 interception, a 68 quarterback rating. The only quarterback with a rating lower than his? Derrick Anderson, Matt Moore, and Jimmy Clausen, that’s pretty bad company. So , it almost be impossible for Jackson to be worse than that.

-Darren McFadden - the day that everyone has been waiting for 3 years.

-I hope London enjoys the 1-6 49ers vs the 2-5 Denver Broncos this week. I mean, they are only coming off a 59-14 loss . At this point the NFL should force the Broncos to start Tebow and run the spread option the whole time while Singletary suits up for the 49ers.

Welp Mike Singeltary just announced that Troy Smith would be starting at quarterback this weekend. Now Tebow must start so they can have the Heisman quarterback faceoff.

Jeff wakes up with some wicked sunburn

Week 4

2010-10-06T21:59:00.014-04:00

I know it's 2 weeks old but I love this picture

Good Guys
QB Peyton Manning STZ - 28
RB Arian Foster BTK - 30
RB Ladainian Tomlinson SUM - 27
RB Maurice Jones-Drew HWG - 23
WR Terrell Owens TSA - 28
WR Calvin Johnson Hart - 20
TE Antonio Gates FAM - 26
K Nate Kaeding HWG - 13
DEF Patriots STK - 32

Bad Guys
QB Michael Vick LL - 3
RB Beanie Wells TSZ - 1
RB Ray Rice SUM - 2
RB Fred jackson Hart - 2
WR Louis Murphy Hart - 0
WR Mario Manningham TSA - 0
TE Tony Hernandez Hart - 2
K Jeff Reed STZ - 2
DEF Colts AWM - 0

I was in Louisiana this past weekend which is why i missed Frat's bachelor party. LSU game followed by the Saints. Amazing, Amazing time. I drank Purple with JaMarcus Russell, hung out on Lil Wayne's tour bus, and had a bunch of Big Ass Beers. I wanted to pontificate on why Baton Rouge is the greatest place on Earth but I wasn't feeling it, maybe next week. But if you EVER have a chance to go to an LSU game DO IT

After u get by the douche bag exterior I actually like Guy Fieri a lot more than most of the Food TV hosts

EAGLES
-I planned to watch the Eagles game. I got home from Louisiana about 1:30AM Monday morning and the first thing I did was find a torrent of the game and started downloading it. Then during the day on Monday I started reading about the game and hearing about it on sports radio. I came to the conclusion, there is NO Reason to watch such a terrible game. One of the biggest clues on not to watch the game was Bob Chambers recommendation to me that i had to watch the game, that I needed to experience Kolb's 1-4 yard passing extravaganza and hear what Troy Aikman was saying about him. Remember that the only football Bob actively watches is Eagles Post Game Live and that's only after they lose.He still talks about the PGL after the Winston Justice 7 sack game and how awesome it was and i think he made his own DVD set of the 3 NFC championship game PGLs. I did not need to put myself through this game. McNabb really won the game with an 8/19 125 Yard line?? That's got to be terrible to watch
I did see 1 play on my way to the airport, McNabb's touchdown pass to Cooley right over the head of Stewart "Dick Butkus" Bradley.

-I can't believe anyone was shocked that McNabb was (mostly)cheered, not just national media but people I talk to thought he would be booed. The only ex Philadelphia athletes to get booed when they come back are Scott Rolen and JD Drew. Why? They didn't want to be here, they made it known they didn't want to be here and deserve to get booed The subsection of the fans that go to the game nowadays is way different than the disgruntled drunks that call sports talk radio and the ones at the game realize that they paid thousands of dollars to watch McNabb win a lot of games in that stadium and that he deserved at least a warm welcome.

-The problem is San Fran has to win sometime and at home on a Monday Night is as good a time as any or that whole staff might get fired. Frank Gore might go for 170 by himself if Torain and injured Portis could. This isn't a good spot for the birds.

If the Republicans have an Elephant and the Democrats have a donkey then I guess the National Socialists have a Bull.

Fantasy-Remember after week 1 I bet that Matt Forte wouldn't combine for 30 in his next 3 games? Well how about 11,3,2 for a grand total of 16. It might take him another 3 weeks to get there.

-Wouldn't you think that without Vincent Jackson teams would cover Antonio Gates? They seem to not think it's important though.

every couple weeks i have to post a picture of Al Davis to remind everyone that he is supposedly still alive

-The Patriots put up the 2nd best defensive performance in league history this week. The Best? None other than the December 5th, 2005 Seahawks Eagles Monday Night game. The Seahawks won 42-0 and put up 44 points defensively. Mira game me the break down, They got 10 points for the shutout, 4 points for sacks, 12 points for 6 turnovers (4 ints and 2 fumbles) and 18 points for 3 tds. The worst part of that night Was Reggie White's widow standing in the middle of the field in the freezing rain trying to honor her late husband with his number being retired and the Eagles we already down 35-0.

Me at the beach(click the pic for big)

-Is it wrong to be concerned that the Phillies didn't have a hit after Ibanez double in the third

This took way to long and reminded me im terrible at Photoshop

-I watched the 30 for 30 on the Socks/Yanks. I would have thought it would give some more inside info, like whether Curt Shilling used Heinz Ketchup or Hunt's Catsup to stain his sock or what roids Papi and Manny were cycling on that season.

New Brew Tang Klan Anthem

2010-09-30T00:34:00.003-04:00

0-3 We are coming back, We are finishing 10-3 and this will be our anthem

I wouldnt play this at work or near anyone easily offended

WEEK 3

2010-09-29T11:37:00.008-04:00

VICK VICK VICK

New Orleans

QB Michael Vick LL -41
RB Adrian Peterson Hart - 31
RB Chris Johnson TSA -24
WR Anquan Boldin BTK - 32
WR Austin Collie Sum - 29
WR Brandon Marshall HWG - 22
TE Antonio Gates FAM - 16
K Sebastian Janikowski LL - 12
DEF Steelers FAM - 17

Atlantic City

QB Carson Palmer BTK - 13
RB Joseph Addai DD - 3
RB Matt Forte AWM - 3
WR Miles Austin AWM - 2
WR Steve Smith STZ - 2
WR Marques Colston BTK - 2
TE Visanthe Shiancoe AWM - 0
K David Akers STK - 4
DEF Giants DD - 1

I'd rather be this guy than watch the Jaguars again

Eagles(more like Inside Jaguars Football)
-I have a rule - If Jacksonville is involved in the game I am not watching it if I don't have too, with their stupid uniforms and non existent fan base I just don't like them. So the only Eagles I saw was on Red Zone, which was a good amount until late 3rd quarter when it was out of hand.

-How did David Garrard fool the Jacksonville Front Office into giving him that huge contract? In 2007 He went 9-3 and won 1 playoff against Pittsburgh and they gave him a 60 million dollar deal the following season. He's gone 13-22 as a starter since signing the deal. He reminds me of the NBA guy who's 2 or 3 good games in the playoffs gets a huge contract, like Jerome James' 2005 playoffs for Seattle which he flipped into a 5 year 30 mil deal with the Knicks since becoming a Knick he has played in only 90 games. But at least they were smart enough to cut their loses, So why has Jacksonville stuck with Garrard.?

-Did Jacksonville even attempt a pass beyond 20 yards? It seemed the eagles defensive backs were sitting on every route about 10 yards downfield. The Jags had 2 completions the whole game over 20 yards and 1 of the was the last play of the game.
-How can any team go through an offseason and Still end up with Sean Considine as a starting safety? The Jags have spent a lot of money and picks on Defense recently, 2 years ago they took D ends Derrick Harvey (sucks) and Quinten Groves (already traded for a 5th round pick) with their top 2 picks, this year their top 4 picks were Defensive players so how could they have not gotten someone to replace Considine?

-The only redeeming factor of that whole game was seeing former Temple Owl Terrance Knighton look good. 1.5 sacks is a pretty good day for a nose tackle.
-If you can't tell the Jaguars blow ass and the only thing i took out of the last 2 games was that the Eagles are better than teams that blow ass (Detroit and Jacksonville) but fuck it, in this age of the NFL that's probably good enough to win the Super Bowl.

TEMPLE

TERROWLBLE

-If you thought David Garrard was terrible and had the worst quarterback performance of the weekend then you didn't watch the Temple/Penn State game on Saturday. So May I introduce you to the worst Quarterback in all of FBS, Chester Stewart.
For 3 quarters Temple played The Perfect "Bend but don't Break" defensive game, forcing Penn State to attempt 6 field goals from inside the Temple 30 and missed once on 4th down. You couldn't ask a defense to play better given the situation.

The situation was this, Bernard Pierce left the game with a high ankle sprain early in the 3rd quarter; Chester Stewart put up this stat line - 8/19 for 46yards 0 TDS 3 INTS.
Again for Emphasis:

8/19 for 46yards 0 TDS 3 INTS.

How is that possible?
that line looks scary similar to ex Temple legend, Henry Burris 1 NFL start
BOX SCORE
That is considered the worst start in NFL history(maybe Jamarcus topped it since then but i dont know). Hell, Burris averaged a good 1.5 more yards an attempt at least.

Here's a picture of henry Burris wearing a Bra with someone who isn't his wife

if you didn't know Henry Burris has been a CFL star for the last decade, don't believe me? Check the Stats

And remember they moved last year's starting quarterback, Vaughn Charlton to Tight End this season, so Stewart beat him out and held off Chris Coyer, who internet people seem to think is good. So this is the best that Temple can have at the quarterback position?

This is all compounded with Bernard Pierce getting injured again. This time it's a high ankle sprain, which could mean he plays this week or he misses the next couple games you never know with Golden or Pierce.

-Which begs the question, who will carry the ball for Temple since they can't pass it? Matty Brown is a great change of pace back but at 5'5" 160 lbs he isn't an every down back, he did do well last season against a couple bad teams but week in and out it won't work.

In what was an overall horrendous broadcast on the Big 10 Network the announcer made 1 good point during Temple's 3rd and 4th quarter troubles, "You may be able to run a tiny back like Brown between the tackles against Eastern Michigan but that doesn't fly in the Big 10" and he's right, Golden was calling dives and powers instead of trying to get outside .

-I fear with Pierce not playing this week and after such an emotional loss that going up to face 3-1 Army is not a good spot for the Owls, who are favored on the road. If i was gonna bet i would take the Army moneyline. I hope I am not right though

Please get healthy soon, Bernard Pierce!

Phillies

-Ho-hum another division title. Was tonight(Wednesday's) game all in Spanish? I kept turning to it and it kept being in Spanish. Rickie Ricardo is no Pablo Ramirez though. I guess you can do those things when you've wrapped up home field advantage through the whole playoffs with a week to go.

-Can everyone think back to July 29th when the Phillies trade J.A. "Cy" Happ and 2 other minor leaguers for Roy Oswalt? Remember that a lot of people thought that was a bad deal, that Oswalt was washed up and for some ungodly think Happ is a future Ace of some mythical staff.

Happ upside is a 3, maybe even a decent 3 but not on a good team.

George Blanda (September 17, 1927 – September 27, 2010)

One of the all time greats passed away this week. My favorite bit of Blanda trivia involves when he was drafted.

raise your hand if you dad was drafted by the Bears before George Blanda.

My father's injuries kept him from ever playing for the Bears but it's kinda cool

News and notes

-If Kurt Warner is too busy dancing why don’t the cardinals go get Jeff Garcia? He is still trying to play in the UFL and he could walk into Arizona and with 1 week of practice be light-years ahead of Derek Anderson

-The Packers better find a running game soon also they may consider committing less penalties.

Cameron Newton is a man child watch this highlight from the 10 second in mark. He takes off from the 6

Other things

-It's time for ESPN to get rid of the bottom line. It served it's purpose but now with everyone able to get their scores and news on their phones, laptops, etc we don't need a constant scroll of the same 5 things during games. Ok so i'm real biased here because when u spend a good amount of your time at the gym and say an hour+ running on an elliptical in an all black gym your options of what to stare at are limited. Example: the day Reggie Bush gave back the Heisman every 2 minutes it popped up BREAKING NEW REGGIE BUSH.... every 2 minutes I don't remember what was actually on but that constant barrage is very annoying. And we don't really need the constant score updates either, if I wanted to know the Phils score while at the gym I would just look it up on my phone.

Surviving Edged Weapons

2010-09-22T13:13:00.003-04:00

why should u watch this?
that's a baseball cap with razorblades attached to the back, that's not event he best image in this video, But don't you want to learn how to defend yourself against that? and some hot techno music

really watch this one

MASTERS OF THE GRIDIRON

2010-09-22T12:49:00.001-04:00

THIS TIME WATCH THIS

Breaking News - Bobs Date to Frat's Wedding

2010-09-22T12:31:00.003-04:00

Bob met him/her on Hot or Not. they started working out at the gym together they both love computers, body building , and hentai. They will make their first appearance as a couple at Frat's big day.

I have no fucking idea what this is, a male to female transsexual that likes working out? maybe. Some sort of extra from a Sci Fi film? more likely. Why do i even have these fucking pictures and where did i get them? I have no idea .

If you don't remember this was bob's original date:
they met at the strip club bob and chris go to almost every day down in Florida. They broke up when she caught bob jerking off onto her prosthetic leg while she wasn't wearing it. Oh yeah, if you did know Bob has a Prosthetic Limb Fetish or PLF for short.

Get Wetted With Curtis Blow

2010-09-16T22:29:00.000-04:00

2010 Week 1 in review

2010-09-15T21:01:00.013-04:00

ARIAN NATION*

Kelly Green

QB Peyton Manning(STZ) - 39
RB Arian Foster(BTK) - 41
RB Matt Forte(AWM) - 31
RB Chris Johnson(TSA) - 26
WR Chad Ochocinco(HWG) -21
WR Miles Austin(AWM) - 20
TE Dallas Clark(FAM) - 14
K Neil Rackers(TSA) - 11
DEF Giants(DD) - 14

Midnight Green

QB Kevin Kolb(LL) - 1
RB Shonn Greene(AWM) - 0
RB CJ Spiller(SMJ) -0
WR Michael Crabtree(Sum) - 1
WR Braylon Edwards(SUM) - 0
WR Dwayne Bowe(Hart) - 1
TE Ben Watson(STZ) - 1
K David Buehler(BTK) - 1
DEF Vikings(HWG) - 1

*this would have worked a lot better if I actually won the game.

James Sims rushed for 101 yards in an upset over Georgia Tech, it's gotta be the hair

-Im retarded, the reason everyone got multiple emails about the change of the waiver wire date is because I couldn’t fully grasp that 2:00AM Wednesday was overnight last night and not tonight (wed to thurs)

-What did I do to deserve to get gashed by Cutler and Forte? How often does a team only score 19 points and the quarterback and running back combine for fantasy points in that game? That seems almost impossible. Forte’s best fantasy day last season was only 24 and he didn’t catch 1 touchdown pass all season, of course he gets 2 this weekend. I knew I was in trouble when I saw that Shiancoe scored the only touchdown for the Vikings and I had that scathing preview of Wright’s team sitting in a word document. Maybe I was completely wrong about Wright’s team, Austin looks like the real deal, he was the only person on Dallas that did anything worthwhile and, even though Washington knew he was getting almost every pass from Romo they couldn’t stop him. Wright did this while getting nothing from Greene and starting his back up quarterback. I will bet that Forte doesn’t get 30points combined in his next 3 games.

-There is nothing worse than wasting a 40 point day from a running back. Arian Foster blew up and may never come close to duplicating this day but that’s what happens when the rest of your team doesn’t score touchdowns. Also being the third highest scorer of the week and losing is a tough pill to swallow.

And where did Hakeem Nicks 3 touchdowns come from? Does he deserve a start now or was that an apparition?

-Congrats to Lord Lansdowne for getting a victory with only 1 point from his quarterback, Kolb. The Eagles aren’t the only team with a quarterback controversy; Frat will probably have to go with his hero, McNabb, for a while.

-Jesus, Summers, that receiving core of yours. It took 3 guys to get 4 points.

Get Up, Pussy!

Eagles

-It took only 1 half of football but the Eagles worst nightmare has manifested. Kolb played like shit, the whole team played like shit; actually the D line got good pressure. (Note, dumbest comment: Joe Buck started the game talking about how good the Green Bay offensive line is. They might have played better in the 2^nd half last season but Rodgers was sacked more than anybody) Vick comes in and runs around and makes a couple plays. The first thing I noticed was that the Green Bay pass rush was not ready for Vick, they didn’t stay in their lanes and, if they were spying they weren’t doing it well.

So now Kolb is out at least this week and everybody is ready to hail Vick the savior of the team and give up completely on Kolb and the Eagles have 2 easy games coming up. It’s worth mentioning that the Eagles and Kolb signed a 12 million dollar extension through next season so they aren’t ready to hand the reins over to Vick. Let’s just remember that Kolb probably deserves more than 1 half of football to be judged if he should be the franchise quarterback.

Also we’ve reached the point that Winston Justice is the most consistent/healthy offensive lineman. That’s one scary fucking thought right there, Jammal Jackson done for the season, The Andrews brothers gone and the All Pro roommate gets banged up a lot. Whoever is at quarterback will be running for his life a lot.

-Ohh yeah, Stewart “Nitschke” Bradley done got concussed. I guess his bronze bust in Canton will have to wait.

-Speaking of Head Trauma I find the transformation of the fans feeling towards concussions both a step forward and really hilarious. Most of the sports talk I heard on Monday and Tuesday was how concerned the fans had become for Bradley and Kolb’s well being and that they should definitely sit out against Detroit. The more zealous fans posting on message board and such were irate when the Birds let Bradley going back in and declaring that the Eagles coaching staff should be fined for their offenses.

Would the general public have ever acted like this even 2 years ago? Of course not, those calls on Monday would have been about how Kolb and Stewart are not mentally or physically tough enough to play the game, that Andrew Waters would have back in that game if he was Stewart. Fans didn’t give a shit about players until they were told to.

And this is a good thing since concussions are serious but the common fan didn’t come to this conclusion till about last season when the media made it front page news and the NFL finally decided to take action and actually try to protect their players.

The first rule the NFL should enforce about concussions? A penalty if your helmet isn’t strapped up properly and mouth guard isn’t in. Or fine the players, The league fines players and teams for not having their jerseys tucked in or their socks not up to their pants why not fine for more important things. All this talk about concussions and safety and the players aren’t helping their own cause with protection; it’s at least 20 times a game that someone’s helmet comes off during a play. That’s like a 1000% increase from about 10 years ago.

This marketing campaign worked slightly more than Hatfield sponsoring the Maccabi Games

TEMPLE

-The owls are 2-0 for the first time since 1981 and I have zero confidence in this team at all. I guess that is what happens when you actually have expectations for a team to succeed but the offensive line has looked worse than the Eagles (7 sacks in the first 2 games) but even more concerning is their run blocking, it sucks. They are averaging just 3.2 yards a carry, last season it was 4.5. Maybe Central is good again and will run the table in the West but they don’t look it, Maybe Villanova is 1 of the best 25 college football team in America, hell JMU beat Tech and Nova should beat JMU. But it doesn’t get any easier this week as UConn comes to the Linc and with Penn State next weekend this is a huge game because you don’t want to lose 2 straight going into the heart of the MAC schedule.

Temple does match up better against UConn than Nova or CMU defensively since the best aspect of Temple’s team is the defensive line and UConn is a power running team. This will be a real test.

-Also the Pierce “Hunt for the Heisman” billboards better be taken down soon, he’s injured, got injured in camp and hasn’t healed and there was no reason in the first place for a non BCS team to be promoting a Sophomore for the Heisman campaign. Hell most other schools wouldn’t start that until the player proved something early in his soph season.

Jacory Harris: Bad fashion sense, worse quarterback

-Quick College point

Miami vs Ohio State

Even the most Thug U teams had 1 thing in common, a consistent quarterback who didn’t make mistakes, Jim Kelly, Bernie Kosar, Vinny Testaverde, Gino Torretta , Steve Walsh, Craig Erickson, and even Ken Dorsey. Those guys controlled the game and let their other stars on offense make the plays,

Unlike Jacory Harris. He threw 17 interceptions last season and doesn’t look like he got any better at decision making this year, Miami had 2 possessions that ended in 1 play on interceptions and that final interception in the 4^th quarter are just unacceptable. Miami runs a pro style offense but doesn’t have the quarterback to run it. The sad thing is the ACC is soo bad that Miami will probably roll through the Coastal and into the championship game.

Also, I bought into Florida St and Christian Ponder and have no response for them getting rolled by Oklahoma.

Here’s the point, I don’t really even like Miami or Florida State but college football is better when those 2 teams are good and we saw this weekend that both are pretty far from reaching that level.

Frat flew to Vegas on Thursday to put this bet in, I guess he won't be buying the old Chambers house anytime soon.

NOTES

-I don’t know what was worse to watch, the Sunday or Monday night game. Dallas has a poor offensive line right now, why did they let go of Flozell Adams, I know the false start penalties are bad but he , you know, block people when he wasn’t getting penalties. Doug Free played well as a right tackle for them last season but he’s now at left and Alex Barron sucks. On the last play of the game Barron must have planned to hold from the get go, his first move wasn’t an inside punch it was to grab the outside of Orakpo. Washington didn’t look much better, no offensive touchdowns and McNabb completed less than 50% of his passes, I am not surprised that Cooley was his first target; it’s a throwback to the Chad Lewis days.

Baltimore vs the Jets was another reminder that the NFL should never schedule to real defensive teams in prime time, it ends up being boring football. The Jets looked horrible all around, Sanchez is not good and will cost them this season. Baltimore is still working the kinks out on offense and the Jets defense is a tough way to get started.

-If Derrick Anderson was good enough to win the starting job in Arizona than how bad is Matt Leinart? Anderson looked pretty bad against a poor Rams defense, completely off timed with his receivers.

-How about McNabb throwing 2 fade passes on back to back plays to Anthony Armstrong in the 3^rd quarter? Both incomplete though. Maybe we saw why Reid never called the fade pass with Donovan.

-The 49ers go what they deserved when they decided to go with Alex Smith at quarterback this year. He stinks, like outright terrible. They probably could have gotten McNabb for less than Washington. The 49ers got 6 points from 3 possessions inside the 6 yard line. It was also a bad sign that they couldn’t get a first down with Gore when they draft 2 run blocking offensive lineman in the first round this year, Iupati and Anthony Davis.

It might just be the angle but i think Fratini is covering Manute Bol in this picture

Yesterday was 9/11

2010-09-12T11:09:00.001-04:00

and I forgot to post what actually happened that day...

Fighting Amish 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:43:00.012-04:00

The resemblance is uncanny

Ahh, The 2 tight end gambit, like Project 13, always a favorite discussion of fantasy football insiders.

But does it have any real value? Can you win with it? Clark and Gates, well they do out stat their tight end brethren except for Vernon Davis who led tight ends in scoring all of last year. You would think he would have gone with the top 2 tight ends if you were going to do this but Mira discriminates against players he’s never had on his team before. He really does too, Tom Brady has been on his team like 4 of the last 6 years and one of those years he wasn’t was the year he got injured in the first game of the season. Actually I think Mira picked Brady up after he got injured because he didn’t want his precious Tom to be cold and lonely without a team for the whole season.

Has anyone ever actually looked at Tom Brady? He looks like an over grown Mutant Justin Bieber , he really does. Look at him in the Direct Tv commercials. Also he isn’t half the pitchman that Manning is, in fact Brady is terrible, Brady might be a better qb but the dude couldn’t sell Brauny free passes to an all boys high school swim team’s locker room.

Al right, Mira has Michael, Larry Johnson 2.0, Turner as his main back and the impressive Justin Forsett, Laurence Moroney and Darren Sproles battling it out for the 2^nd spot. And at receiver he will line up Hines Ward alongside Pierre Garçon or Malcolm Floyd. Garçon came on late in the season but can he stay ahead of Austin Collie and a returning Anthony Gonzalez? Does anyone think that Laurence Moroney will run hard again? Will Turner recover from his 360 carries 2 years ago? Who the fuck is Justin Forsett?

See, with the 2 tight end set you leave a ton of question marks across your starting lineup. Last year Clark and Gates scored 164 and 157 points during the complete season, so 10 points a game. Not bad but that was only 24^th and 29^th in scoring for non quarterbacks. 160 to maybe 170 is the ceiling for tight ends, Tony Gonzalez record setting 102 catch season was for 164 points and Gates record setting 13 touchdown season got him 174 points. Yes, very good numbers but hell, Jamal Charles scored 174 points last season and he sucks.

There will be consistency and it would be nice to know that you are going to get 9-10 points from a non #1 running back every week but the upside is staggeringly low.

Now Mira does a good job and wins a lot of waiver wire victories and look at the win total since 2004 -9, 10, 9, 9, 7, 10 he just doesn’t have losing seasons. (Winning in the 2^nd round of the playoffs is another story though) SO is there any reason to predict less than 7 wins? Im torn because this is not a very good team overall in my eyes but fuck, punch a ticket to another 2^nd round playoff loss for Mira.

T Sizzle 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:43:00.011-04:00

If anyone asks, Saturn was destroyed before Ray Lewis got there.

Ahh the returning champion. Hanlon tied the Supreme Commander, Mike McStalin, with his 2^nd title and is now only behind the Brew Tang Klan, who has 3. You wouldn’t know Hanlon could have 2 titles if you looked at his records, all time he is 33-45 never having a 10 win season and has lost 10 and 11 games in consecutive seasons. How does he do it? He’s like last year’s Flyers team except he won his cup, twice.

Having a disgruntled Randy Moss as your star might not be a good start to a repeat. Things should be fine as long as the Patriots keep winning but if Brady gets hurt or they just lose a couple games early it could get ugly. Grant should produce again this year like last but there is just something about him I don’t like, which is why I didn’t take him in the 2^nd round. There is no real challenge to his position, though, as Brandon Jackson has proven he isn’t a starter.

It only took 3 rounds for hanlon to grab his first Raven, Joe Flacco. Flacco finished 15 overall for quarterback last year but with the addition of Boldin and now Houshmandzedeh along with mainstay Derrick Mason he could really improve his numbers. Will Beanie Wells stay in front of Hightower the whole season? For a team that didn’t run a lot, Hightower has shown to be the much better receiver and could give him the edge in a lot of games and now Wells is starting the season injured. Similarly in Oakland, Michael Bush is listed as the starter but I can see Al Davis keep trying to force more McFadden into the offense. Hanlon may have gotten lucky with another 2 back situation as Ahmed Bradshaw looks a lot better than Brandon Jacobs, Bradshaw just runs harder, especially around the goal line which is funny because Jacobs outweighs him by 60 pounds.

I just don’t see the stars past Moss and Grant and Vernon Davis. Flacco will do well but but I don’t like banking on Maclin as a #2 receiver the whole season and Early Doucet hasn’t proven anything in the league yet. Hanlon could be in for a long season.

Stakman Jones 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:43:00.010-04:00

Stak decided to give up on being a lawyer and decided to move to Louisiana to teach local youths how to swim, mostly because he liked the names.

I must say I’ve been impressed with how much better Stak has gotten at this whole fantasy football thing. The first couple years he was in the league pretty much because we need a warm body and he liked football and would attend the draft, but 3 years ago he caught lightening in a bottle and made the finals and since then he has put together a solid string of teams (22-17) over that time. You know what I think did it? No, Stak didn’t pay more attention to the little details and scout pre season games or read all the off season info. No, He hired Sutter to be his Director of Player Personnel, because underneath the scruff and the dirt, Sutter knows his football. Would they let someone coach St. Anastasia if they didn’t? Of course not.

Look at what happened in the draft, Stak was decent in the early round, but nothing special. He may have taken Brees a little early, but of course, he would never be there in his second pick and now Larry Fitzgerald will have Derrick Anderson throwing to him which could hurt, and both Williams and Welker got hurt at the end of last season(Welker way worse though) but both are expected to perform well, maybe not their best, but good enough.

So Stak had put together a good enough team including Witten at tight end but had no home runs .

But then Sutter appears, first come Felix Jones. Who bulked up in the off season and wants to be the starter over Barber or Choice. And then Sutter breaks out CJ Spiller, who was just named starter in Buffalo and who has a greats chance at 1,000 + yards since Lynch is Persona Non Grata there and who the fuck is Fred Jackson but a guy, Spiller has a chance to be really explosive and while the Bills wont be that good he should be able to accrue points. Frat took Jahvid Best 2 rounds early as his #1 back and I'm telling you Spiller will out stat him this season.

Mike Wallace will be great with Holmes gone and they grabbed the best backup quarterback on any team, Rapelisberger, and they added in a hot rookie like Dez Bryant.

This team went from ho-hum to smoking in rounds 6-12 and it’s all thanks to Sutter.

So Stak, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth retain his services again in the off season because, you never know, I might just throw every married guy out of the league finally and with Sutter having his own team we might see complete domination.

U know whats great about these previews I write them and have no idea what they say or how they sound I usually write a sentence or 2 in between web surfing for pictures, which is the most important part of the preview, so that’s how the voice in each preview is completely disjointed and random also I barely edit anything hence all the misspelling and grammatical misusages but im not drunk this year so that’s a start.

So I don’t know what point I was trying to convey with this one so take it any way you want, Stak, Sutter love yah guys.

Lord Lansdowne 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:42:00.013-04:00

High possibility that Bob brings the right side of this picutre to Frat's wedding, not the whole girl just the ass.

I got a big envelope in the mail originating from somewhere deep in DELCO the other day, so I wrote return to sender on it , sprinted out of my house as fast as I could and shoved it in the first mailbox I came across.

I think this was the right decision.

Frat is always innovating fantasy football, this year it was "don’t take a running back till the 5^th round". He ends up with a rookie running back who suffered a horrendous concussion late in the season that caused him to miss the final 3 games and the bowl game now he’s behind one of the worst offensive lines in the NFL. Clinton Portis, leader of the oldest 3 headed monster backfield in nfl history, who also missed most of the end of the season with concussion problems. And Jerome Harrison, who I just don’t like, 560 yards and 5 touchdowns in the final 3 games of the season against Kansas City, Oakland, and Jacksonville, sure he probably won a number of people fantasy titles last year but week to week is not looking to exciting.

Will Frat’s receiving core be able to pick up the slack on offense? Andre Johnson is probably the best receiver in football, Roddy White, to me, seems like a higher end Lee Evans, hes good but I don’t really want to depend on him. Jennings numbers slide down because green bay has so much offense.

And he really took Kolb and McNabb as his quarterbacks. What is frat going to do if the eagles haven’t got it going offensive? Go back to his roots as a redskins fan? Yes he will. With the way the Eagles looked in the preseason everyone has backed off those predictions of 25-30 TDS for Kolb.

Really this is one of the problems of having the draft before the 3rd preseason game. If We saw Kolb go 11/25 for 103 yards and an interception would anyone take him in the 4th round? Probably not. The Eagles haven't looked crisp at and starting with Green Bay coming in it could get ugly, early.

Frat might get 40 points a week from his receivers but there isn't enough help around him to get the victories. Frat will be at home come December.

Dirty Daves 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:42:00.012-04:00

Meat Stein. A stein made out of bacon filled with a think honey mustard mead.

After making the playoffs in the first 3 seasons in existence the Dirty Daves hit their first rough patch in franchise history last year going 4-9. Can this upstart franchise recover after the early success? Or did Hanlon put all his effort towards winning under his own name instead of his fictional brother in law “Dave”. I thought it was quite a coincidence that Dave just couldn’t get the web cam to work on his end. Sure there was a voice but god knows Hanlon could have written a computer program that drafted for him, I’m not selling Hanlon short anymore, he built a robot or automaton that would draft his second team, next year he may even break through on bipedal locomotion for the automaton and have him come to the draft.

Wait, is this a fantasy football preview or a book on conspiracy theories starring ATO brothers. I would read that, Dirty Charles drives around solving crimes with Vanderveer and Buster.

Jackson, Wayne, and Schaub make a very nice start to a team. People were so disappointed in Jackson performance last season that it’s tough to remember that he finished 2^nd in the league in rushing and actually caught 50 passes, now he only had 6 touchdowns but he put together a strong season and, barring injury, can’t see anyway he scores less than 11 touchdowns this season even with the rookie quarterback cause Bradford can’t be worse than a very injured Bulger and Kyle Boller. Wayne will be solid like 1200 and 10 tds. Schaub quarterbacks a team that doesn’t play defense so expect a lot of high scoring games.

After that, Knowshon and Addai are on the exact ends of the spectrum, everyone expects knowshon to perform like a high pick and take over the RB spot in Denver while Addai had his replacement drafted last season in Donald Brown. Addai managed to stay ahead last season with a bunch of touchdowns but will Brown take over? I will take Knowshon grabbing the main job in Denver and being very solid this season.

But then, Vincent Jackson, the 5^th round and not even closed to signing can’t get himself traded if his life depended on it. I'm shocked that San Diego is all in on going through with the hold outs. You knew the Jets would come to an agreement with Revis but I guess with 3 guys all wanting big time contracts and a known dick as GM, AJ Smith, this could be the long haul. Good luck with that Dave.

Football is great for certain things, like player’s ages. If you asked me how old Santana Moss is I would say 40 cause that dudes been playing forever, because it feels like I have watched him play every year ive watched football or can remember, except for like the 80s stuff I barely remember. Dudes 31 entering his 10^th season, I think that is the extent of pro football I can remember. With McNabb at quarterback , Moss gets back to a 1000+ yard season.

Dave got himself a soldier in Kellen Winslow Jr. and handcuffed Addai with Donald Brown. The problem with that? It looks like it will be a true sharing system so you wont know game to game who will actually perform well, unless 1 gets injured, which is the best case scenario. Give it up for the great name Devin Aromashodu, This Generation’s Housmandzadeh. Don’t know if he can actually play but a good name.

A good team, will rely heavily on their stars and if Moreno or Moss blow up or if Jackson gets remembers how to score touchdowns, Dave could be dangerous or not make the playoffs at all.

Hartman 2010 preview

2010-09-10T16:42:00.011-04:00

Remember, Ludacris could be hiding ANYWHERE

I must say, I was impressed with Hartman depth of knowledge concerning the NFL. I guess when you get married while still in college and you went to Moravian and the best man at your wedding was Fratini it’s kinda over from that point on so you might as well put all your efforts into studying football.

I mean he knew Ben Tate broke his leg and was out for the season cause Listino definitely had no idea and neither did anyone else at the table, hell I don’t even know who the fuck Ben Tate is. I’ve had Fratini and Mira try to tell me who he played for and why he should be drafted fairly early and he isn’t ringing a single bell. I think he might be the only person on Earth who bought the NFL Preseason Live On Demand package, cause he knew what happened in every game the first 2 weeks.

But look at his actual team, Peterson, Johnson and Romo all solid picks, Peterson should be in the top 3 in running backs, Romo top 5ish and Calvin Johnson should put up numbers way closer to 2008 now that Stafford is in his 2^nd season. So far, so good. Pierre Thomas, ehh, it’s good for him that Mike Bell is gone but will still split time his Reggie Bush on a pass first team(OK after seeing some of the Saints game I may be way off on that). Dwayne Bowe quickly became a player no one wanted on their team last year, catching 40 less passes in 2009 than he did in 2008 and he’s already served a 4 game substance abuse suspension, has he gotten his shit together this year? I don’t know and he’s still a Chief which doesn’t help.

Brandon Jacobs has pretty much lost his starting job to Ahmed Bradshaw likewise for Fred Jackson in Buffalo, Holmes is suspended for the first 4 games this season, Robert Meachem came on at the end of the regular season but then disappeared in the playoffs, was this because the Saints were resting their starters late and reverted back to their regular gameplan in the playoffs? Or will he solidify the 2^nd receiver role?

I don’t see this team going far this season if it stays as is, but with Hart knowing his football he will probably grab a couple waiver wire stars and make a late push but it probably wont be enough to get into the playoffs.

Brew Tang Klan 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:41:00.009-04:00

This man is always smiling down on us, from heaven.

I decided to change it up with my team. I asked Mira to do a preview for it, so here it is.

One of the perennial favorites in the league and the only three time champion, the commissioner's team looks poised for another deep run. Two seasons removed from having the worst team on paper to win a title in not just this league but probably in any league in fantasy football, the Klan go back to what has made it great before - a power running game. Going with Matthews and Gore will provide many headaches to other owners in the league as they pile up the points in the late games. Taking Foster as late as he did was a heist and having Stewart in reserve provides great depth and trade bait.

Wide receiver is a little shaky but BTK's roots are so old in this league that he played fantasy football before there was the forward pass. Colston will put up numbers but they will be sporadic as Brees spreads it around and Boldin has been in decline for awhile now. Not the biggest Flacco fan because he comes from the town in South Jersey with the biggest dbags for cops. And there's always the potential that the Klan's qb could kill himself from having to deal with the T-Ocho show or could have a great season.

There really is no in between there for Palmer. But all in all Uncle Joe is smiling at another playoff team with potential to win it all.

Ya Ya Here We Go 2010 Preview

2010-09-10T16:41:00.008-04:00

Is Gigger the next in line for married life?

Even notice Gigger starts out well for the first 4 rounds, then the reshuffle break happens, he disappears for 15 minutes and his ability to concentrate goes to shit? Yeah I wonder why that is? This year this phenomenon was best displayed by the drafting of John Carlson in the 6^th round. Carlson has proven to be a good tight end who was rated somewhere between 14-20, not a starter. Gigger took him before Cooley, Winslow, Keller, Olsen, and Miller; 5 bona fide starters. Maybe Listino knows something that no expert knows . I guess it doesn’t really matter since he took Keller 3 rounds later to be the starter.

There is no backfield combination in Fantasy football that I have more irrational hatred for than Gigger’s. I have never believed in Jones Drew, I know he has kept it together the last couple seasons and even excelling but god damn that Jacksonville team is trash and I wouldn’t want to bank anything on them. Cedric Benson is not that far behind Favre for my most hated athlete in the NFL, and he has fucking both. I’m surprised Favre hasn’t petitioned the league to play in Wrangler Jeans with pick-up trucks parked all over the field cause he’s just a good ole boy out there having fun but we know if that happened there would be a high possibility that Benson would get a DUI if he went near a truck. Really, I hope both of them break their legs.

Now that is over with, can Brandon Marshall succeed in Miami? For someone as talented as Marshall and getting away from the shit show known as Josh McDaniel’s football team people would be expected a huge year for Marshall. OchoCInco finished 15^th in receiver points last season and even though I think the passing game will be better for the Bengals there will be a decrease in scoring due not only to Owens being there but also Gresham at tight end and Shipley as the slot guy.

I hate this team I hope he loses every game but Ricky Williams is still cool as hell.

But remember, Gigger 4:20 says I just drafted an injured running back in the 5th round.